Four Podcasts Which Could Boost Your Mental Wellbeing
​
I admit, I was late to the whole ‘listening to podcasts’ thing and struggled to find ones I liked for a long time. However, I have found some awesome wellbeing podcasts, and I’m sharing in the hope that someone reading this finds a gem too.
​

1. The Therapy Edit – my favourite of what I’ve found in recent months, not least because it’s only 10-20 mins long. My stamina for podcast listening is quite short, but this one ran through Lockdown (1) and is still available. So helpful and I always feel better after listening to Anna Mathur, who is ‘taking therapy out of the therapy room.’

 

1. The Happiness Lab – a relatively long listen on Spotify, but I find breaking it up using the advert breaks useful. The most recent episode I’ve tuned into was ‘For whom the alarm clock tolls’ – appealed to both my sleep loving and Metallica loving self! – and was really insightful about ‘time confetti’. I really have this concept featuring daily in my life and had no idea! #workinprogress
   
   
2. Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place – another Spotify gem, even if you don’t know exactly who the celebrity guests are. A really wide, honest spectrum of experiences, and often an eye-opener. From Tom Daley to Joe Wicks, Dawn French to Tom Kerridge, learn what makes these celebs happy and maybe pick up some tips yourself.
   
   
3. Finally, the Mindful Mix on BBC Sounds. This is a classical, calming mix tape, and it really takes the pressure off trying to think of relaxing classical music to chill out to.
   
   

Enjoy!

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist

Really, returning to work post Maternity leave felt like a release from Lockdown. Of course, I am still socially distancing and respecting the 'number rules' for meeting people, but having a new focus of going back to work after 13 months of Mat Leave felt like a big change. It wasn't unwelcome, just because of the freedom it felt like, however much I wanted to stay being a full-time mum. I also enjoyed using my brain in a new way!

Also, Lockdown had moved on a bit since then. Gone was the three month total Lockdown where we were not supposed to leave the house apart form a daily walk and medical/food supply runs. Things definitely felt more normal. I only really have missed the cinema, and only a little. When I was pregnant I basically slept for nine months (!!) so we didn't go out at all really, and when baby arrived we had other things on our plate, obviously. I'd like to say I'm missing gigs and theatres, but experiencing that part of city culture was rare for me, however enjoyable they were before Lockdown.

I think how I'm feeling now, like many other people, is we are firmly in a 'new normal'. And this 'new normal' isn't temporary, like the 'normal' we were subjected to in the early summer. Thank goodness that didn't last an enormously long time (and that the weather was so great!), and let's hope national Lockdown doesn't happen again.

I appreciate many people are fearing job losses, suffering health issues, and worried for their children mixing at school, but for us, we're feeling lucky. This form of Lockdown isn't so bad. It's all relative, isn't it; comparing these days to days back in April, it's a totally different situation down here in Bristol. London and the north is struggling in particular, and comparing my situation to people who have family members with Covid or who need to shield isn't really fair, but we're doing ok. What has really helped is all the socially distanced dog walking with a friend or two, and having one of my closest mates support bubbling with us. She lives on her own, so it's totally legit, but honestly, I feel like the support is more for me!!!

What has been quite different in the last three months is my day job. I work part-time as a PA in a government department, and every day, in normal times, I'd take the Park & Ride into the city centre, working in an open plan office with over 1000 desks. Now I'm working from home indefinitely, which is totally different. There's a whole blog on that subject alone, but it's mainly a good thing, and I feel much safer than having to use public transport and mix with people I have no idea how well they are following the government safety guidelines. I am blessed to have a job I can work from home with, keeping a routine is so helpful. 

Two weeks ago I started a new role (same department). This was a strange process with a video interview and starting work on day one in my spare room. El Husbandio and I both work in the same room Tuesdays and Thursdays - I think that'll be the biggest challenge!! We're already kind of on top of each other day and night.

Of course, I'm saying "roll on that vaccine!" and I miss my friends and family - and the warm weather!!! - but honestly, I'd love to keep working from home. It's so easy to fit in walking the dog, receiving deliveries, managing nursery drop offs/collections, it's (mostly) quiet, I have my home comforts... I even managed a haircut on my lunchbreak back in August! I do miss the company of my team some days, but it's fast becoming the new normal that we catch up on video and have social check ins. And if my work situation stays this way for a while, I shan't be complaining. 

My lockdown buddies and I are staying safe. We're not being risky (nursery being the only wild card really) and we're hanging in there. 

​Stay safe yourselves! 

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist

I'm going back to work this week after 13 months of maternity leave, and I am full of emotions. I've thoroughly enjoyed being a new mum and having so much time looking after Rox. Honestly, if we could afford it, I wouldn't be going back to work. Consequently it's been a bit of an emotional time lately, and I've felt pressured to 'enjoy the time' I have left with Rox, even through the limits of lockdown. 

Here's a few of the things which have been playing on my mind...

 - Will I remember  what I need to for my role? My brain is a bit mushy right now!
 - Will my new mum crowd drift away?
 - Will our childcare plan work out well? This involves El Husbandio having Rox two days in a row, he'll be learning fast!
 - Will I be as good as my team expect or remember me to be?
 - Is there anything I should do before I return to work to help Rox's development? To enjoy myself?
 - Why are me and El Husbandio at each other this week?
 - How will domestic duties be split now I won't be as available?
 - How will home working work when both of us are in the office?

So many things on my mind!

I had a bad day today with all this - and more - going round my brain. I realised I felt 

This is a bit of a lethal combination for me, the Big Three. These feelings do dominate when I'm having a rough time. Spotting I felt this way is a HUMUNGOUS achievement for me, given I had no emotional awareness a couple of years back. I've worked hard to recognise my emotions and to help let them be and pass, if they're not helpful. 

I didn't want to reflect any more. It was getting too much.

I took some deep breaths. . 
I spent some time in the garden alone. 
I reminded myself I'll still be a mum forever, it's not ending. 
I thought of the near future, how exciting it'll be when Rox is walking, talking...
I made a mental list of all the great things Rox and I are planning for the next year.
I reminded myself that I like my boss, my job, I'm going to go back to having a monthly income. 

And this helped enormously. I start work on Wednesday, and I don't feel terrible about it. Now I feel

  Proud
  Relaxed
  Sad

I'm immensely proud of what I've achieved this year, relaxed about going back to work (slowly does it, it'll feel normal before long), but still a little bit sad still I won't have my little shadow by my side all day. 

And that's ok. 

​Lou x

This isn't a huge ask for me, as it's kind of like a paper blog, right up my street, especially when I have a pretty notebook to scribble in. We've been encouraged to do whatever we wish for content, just to record something every day to help with anxiety, depression, boredom etc during Lockdown. 

I know writing can be therapeutic - have even blogged about it in the past - but I hadn't realised just how good journaling can be for your mental and physical health.

For me, it helps me keep my brain ticking over while I'm not working. It's a fantastic outlet for emotions and can help with clarity. When I'm in a bad patch with my anxiety (thankfully not for several months now) I feel confused and foggy, and clarity is something I really need to work towards, so this really helps. 

On good days, like today, journaling helps me to appreciate the small things. Today I wrote down three  good things which came along today. 

1. I made a new type of sweet bread - Dulce Milanese. (Not worth the 6 hour prove and 25 mins of kneading!!)
2. The sunshine was amazing today.
3. I spoke to my grandma who's isolating with my uncle in Norfolk. 

It's easy to see here how journaling can really give you a boost. The blog on Positive Psychology says there's 83 benefits!!!!

https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-journaling/

Have you ever tried journaling? It doesn't have to be much, just listing three good things each day counts, but some people write poems, sketch, 'flow' write, do a diary... you can do whatever takes your fancy really, as long as you do it every day.

Stay well,

Lou x

You may be tempted to visit beauty spots or family/friends, but don't. Stay safe, keep your family safe. Protect the NHS and save lives. 

There's much to be enjoyed at home and in this good weather, so make the most of it! 

We're planning a BBQ for the three of us, a replanting of seeds since the slugs got our veg, bread baking, and setting up the static exercise bike. If it's super nice, the paddling pool might even make an appearance!

Stay safe,

Lou x

Following my appendicitis, my family and I are isolating to shield me for two weeks, so lockdown just got riiiiipe! Our dog has been packed off on holidays round the corner as we three are confined to the house and garden. It's been six days and it has been ok so far, to be honest. But then one often doesn't feel like doing much when feeling rough. This coming week will be more of a test, I think.

Today, to make someone smile: I made yoghurt cranberry muffins for my husband's breakfast tomorrow. 

Today, for me: I did my first exercise since my hospitalization, and felt great for it, energised.

Today, to be productive, I cleared out my recipe books and put together two charity bags of clothes for when lockdown ends. 

Stay well,

Lou x

Anyone else starting to feel like this is the new normal? Not seeing friends and family, no reliable deliveries, no outings, work all a-cock... 

I'm hearing a lot from other people about "things they've read" about how long lockdown  is going to last for. We obviously don't know for sure but the speculation makes me panic a bit. I haven't dared to think about not seeing my family for the whole summer... and into the Autumn. 

I normally see my mum (often my dad joins too) once a week and my brother probably every two weeks, that's what I'm missing the most. They're not walkable to where they live so I can't walk past and wave like I've done with some local friends. If I think about it more than a couple of seconds, it is hard to bear. 

I do try to remember though that El Husbandio's family permanently live away, in another country, I'm lucky to have my folks in reach easily normally, but it makes it hard to talk about with El Husbandio because he always trumps me by pulling the foreign card.

But, as someone else said to me today, at least we're  all safe and healthy. Best not to dwell on might happen and how, just keep on keeping on. 

---

Today's productivity: Did a trip to Costco for dog food and toilet paper, mainly, and dyed some boring white baby PJs blue and yellow.
 
Today's smile for someone else: I made soft, fluffy cheese and onion rolls for tea tonight, which El Husbandio loves. 

Today's thing for me: I took the dog out for a longer-than-normal walk in some fields we've not seen for a while. Rox was in the baby backpack, enjoying pulling my plaited hair and looking at the goats we found. A lovely afternoon. 

Lou x

Everyone's probably feeling some degree of anxiety and/or depression with this current situation. However, for those who struggle with mental health issues like this daily, whatever global crisis is or isn't happening,  it can be especially hard.

I'm one of those people and I found yesterday difficult. I put on a brave face for the online video nursery rhymes session I'm running, but I was in turmoil inside. I haven't got as many problems as some, and I try to keep it in perspective,  but anxiety doesn't make that easy. I have a healthy family. My husband is still able to work from home (something he often did anyway), so that's not changed much. We have toilet paper and food. But yesterday I was off kilter, out of sorts.

I was tearful, angry and frustrated. Mainly with things I can't control - like seeing my neighbours meet at someone's gate for a cigarette and a gossip, much less than the 2m recommended away from each other - and it was really upsetting.

I feel like life for my home-loving spouse hasn't changed a lot. His hobbies include cycling, dog walking,  and he enjoys a lot of things online, like the radio podcasts from his home country. All of that he can do still, no problem.  I, on the other hand, get cabin fever very quickly. I feel like I need a cuddle, and he doesn't really want to chat. I went for a long dog walk in the woods, which helped, but  there's nothing like a catch up with your best friend over coffee, girl talk, and I miss it!!!

So how do I plan to make today easier to manage, less emotional? 

​It's started well, with news of a newborn. Congratulations Becca and Diego, so happy for you! I have been up two hours and done loads of washing, cleaned the kitchen and 'done the necessarry' (feed and dress baby and me). We've had our morning story (twice, thank you Amazon for a fresh delivery,  The Tiger Who Came To Tea was today's choice) and baby is chilling while I have a coffee/blog break. Feels like a normal Saturday,  and being productive sure helps.

I've also stopped following local groups on Facebook who are clubbing together to help others. I initially wanted to help but food bank assistance with a 9 month old would be challenging, and the other things so far just seem to be people posting about what they need or are angry about. I don't need to see that. I offered a homebaked gluten free cake for anyone vulnerable and on a gluten free diet, but there were no takers. Added to that, i received a phonecall from some random woman in my postcode who was telling me to hot-foot it to Costcutters who have paracetamol in stock. I don't need paracetamol,  and didn't aprecise a panic call from a stranger. She'd got my number from the volunteers list who are supposed to be delivering groceries to those in need.... not what this was intended to be used for, spreading secret communications of grocery a bail ability! Concerned, I messaged the administration of the WhatsApp group for my postcode to let them know what happened, and they're going to set some ground rules for the group. I'm going to leave the group today, as I think I have enough to deal with with a baby and things here, and I'm now trying to avoid hearing things about Corona Virus. From today I am going to ignore my phone much more, and only check the news once a day. I think I'll rejoin the Facebook Corona Virus happenings when and if we actually need help.

Now, I've already done loads of productive things today (see yesterday's post for why this is imoortant) - time for something I enjoy,  for me. I'm going to download Now TV and enjoy their free trial. I heard Rocketman is on there, and I've wanted to see that for ages.

Enjoy your day, be safe.
​Lou x

Being isolated from your friends and family is tough. I live in the same town as my brother and my best mate, and we normally see each other a fair amount. Dog walks, movie nights, dinners, cinema trips, shopping, BBQs... All of which have stopped due to the need to socially isolate. Staying 2m from someone is difficult if you're serving up burgers!

So how am I protecting my mental wellbeing? I recognise I'm lucky having a husband home, a baby to engage with and a dog to walk, but this will be tough for 12 weeks,  potentially more.

1. I'm maintaining the normal dog walking schedule. We're not self isolating yet so  taking her out to places that aren't very busy is fine. Fresh air and exercise,  essential for mental health wellbeing!

2. I'm trying to help others where I can. An acquaintance of mine ran out of nappies at the weekend so I dropped some at her door. Today I'm baking a gluten free cake for someone vulnerable and gluten free. 

3. Checking in with my friends is helping, those I know who live on their own, who have children at home, my grandma (staying with my uncle, happily), and the two who are about to have a baby each - good timing eh?! A 10 min chat  on the phone does wonders.

4. A routine is helpful: We still do the morning dress/breakfast routine, the book, bath, snacks and bedtime routines, and again, walk the dog.

5. I'm mixing up activuties, both for me and for baby. We're moving rooms regularly,  she's having toy rotations, and I'm not just spending hours on Netflix. Variety is the spice of isolation life!

I'm also trying to maintain my daily wellbeing goals I was doing before we'd even heard of Corona Virus: I aim to do something productive and something that makes me happy each day. It's a shorter prompt compared to the FIVE WAYS TO WELLBEING - still worth a Google.  

For example, today I made a cake and hoovered (productive), and I sang with my baby (happiness injection).

Several of my mum friends, on chatting to them, have told me they try to do something for them, not something for the family or kids. This ranges from painting their toenails to having a nap, reading for 20 mins and a long hot bath. The key thing here is it's a relaxing activity, I think.

It all helps, keep well!

Lou x

It was astounding to me how completely my body became all about concentrating on growing a new human; to a large extent and very quickly, I had no control over what it did when, how it functioned, and when I felt good. Added to that, I had more midwife appointments, monthly scans, and various examinations than the norm to check on me and baby, and an induced labour due to the gestational diabetes I developed from week 17. These appointments were often invasive and 'faffy', again, out of my control. 

This, to be honest, was all just par for the course, 100% needing to be done for the health of my baby and me. I was fine with that, Drs, get involved if you need to. When my body felt like it became fair game or visual/tactile/gossipy property of non-medical people I'd come across, that's when I took a bit of an issue. 

As Lindsay Hunter says, "pregnant women are on display. Suddenly, you are someone different. Something different. There’s a strange, infantilizing obsession that others get with a pregnant woman’s shape, her “bump.” This totally resonates with me. Three main occasions stick in my mind in particular of when people seemed to think they could do what they liked, say or ask what they wanted, or get involved in my pregnancy like it was their obsession and right...

1) A colleague I know a little - wouldn't call her even as much as a friend - asked me point blank over the tea point at work if I was constipated. Personal, much! I responded passive aggressively by filling her in COMPLETELY, leaving out no detail. Maybe she'll think twice before enquiring next time. Of all the side effects to ask about. Really. 

2) A stranger (to me, but a neighbour of my mother in law) I came across in the supermarket while helping my MIL shop felt she could try for a connection with the baby (kicks, I assume) by caressing my belly in the queue for the tills. Uninvited was not the word!!

3) Finally, postpartum, another stranger (friend of a friend that said friend and I bumped into while out for coffee) asked me last week - and this is a direct quote - "How's your fanny??" I shit you not. What a question! I'd be unlikely to ask even my closest frinds that, or is it just me??? And, ick, I hate that F word!

Now, if you've read any of my well-being themed blogs before, you know I don't have a problem sharing; I believe in normalising natural things (e.g. breastfeeding) and talking about important subjects, like mental health. Pregnancy is no exception. There's a lot of ignorance and some stigma around gestational diabetes in particular, and I am happy to share my experience, tips and to help people understand. However, there are some things you just do not do or ask someone you don't know well!

Aside from uncomfortable conversations, this is also importantly linked to body image, the theme of Mental Health Awareness Week 2019. When (mostly) well-meaning people you come across touch you, advise you, or probe into your health because you're pregnant, it can make you feel a little self-conscious, even paranoid and worried. No one likes to be reminded of the fact they're carrying more weight, even if it is for the best reason in the world... I was pretty proud of my bump, in awe of my body as a first-time mum, but even I felt a bit weird when a banter-full colleague pointed out that my necklace (a whale tail pendant) matched my body. I wasn't even that big, actually losing weight while preggo! 

Your body is no one's business but your own, so don't feel like you need to grace inappropriate questions and comments with a reply ... or perhaps have a good answer ready to ping back at them. The same goes for invasive touching. If you're not comfortable with people touching your belly, tell them. I had a language barrier in my case, but I still could have removed the woman's hands from my tummy - that would have needed no translation! 

Just because you're having a baby it doesn't make you fair game for public involvement and prying into your health and bodily experiences. Respect and consideration should still be applied. And ladies, remember you're in control here, where as in a lot of the 'joy' of pregnancy you may feel you're not. I certainly didn't - my body was at the mercy of hormones from the diabetes to late-stage emotional outbursts, and I couldn't do anything about it.

If you need yet another reason to be positive about your changing body and to feel like it's YOU who owns it, not any random passer by, take a look at this (American) quick read on how your body image perception can have lasting well-being effects on you and your child. Food for thought. 

And FYI, my 'fanny' is fine. Thanks for your kind concern.

Lou x

Find me on Facebook...
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist