Lou x

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It looked like 'Old' was a perfect film for us: Beach scenes, a mysterious thriller, and an early finish! An all-star cast isn't always enjoyed, and big effects can get a bit wearing film after film, so how did 'Old' stack up? Here's my review, on the theme of mindfulness, the well being booster tactic, in the movie. 

'Old' is one of those movies that you don't know if on brief reflection you really enjoyed. We both agreed we wouldn't watch it again, but mostly because we now knew the ending. The premise was interesting, probably better for being a book before the movie was made: A 'paradise' beach which ages people a year every 30 mins they're there. The tourists can't escape and, along with a rapid advancement of age - and in some cases of growing up a little ​ too fast - a mini mental breakdown of some individuals does start to begin, which was interesting, especially the Instagram model who couldn't bear anyone seeing her age. The acting left a bit to be desired across the board really; the best actors were the teens Alex Wollf and Thomasin McKenzie. 

My eyes stayed glued to the screen, and I really wanted to know how it ended. ​The best bits were when there was some real poignant moments in the relatable themes of aging, puberty and parenting. Just before the now blind father of the main character family dies of old age, he loses his memory but says the most lovely things to his wife he was previously on course for a divorce with, and questions why they ever wanted to leave the beach: "It's beautiful." It really spoke to me about mindfulness, enjoying the moment, and the value of being with who you love. 

When Kara gives birth, I really felt quite emotional. I had my first child just two years ago, and, of course, the baby died less than a minute after it was born - one month is about a minute on the beach, and he died purely of neglect with not enough love, feed or sleep. This was very well done, and Kara really seems to grieve, even being so young and after only having been pregnant for maybe 30 mins and being a mum for less than 60 seconds! Mindfulness even featured here, in the rushed episode of motherhood, when Trent buries the baby with his own hands, in the sand. This must have felt cathartic, in a way, for the character. 

I also loved when the adult version of Trent (the boy in the main family) suggests to his now adult older sister that they make some sandcastles before they go off together to try a desperate attempt of escape, one most likely to fail. This was beautiful, reminding us that they were still only six and nine (I estimate) in the 'real world', and it was a little emotional seeing them bond for perhaps one final time, again, being mindful in a moment. I'm a big fan of the 'M' word, you may have guessed. The sand's texture, the fun sandcastle building brings, the companionship... The sandcastles making was a clear nod to the original story by Pierre Oscar Levy too, was very thoughtful of the screenplay writers. 

I have to say though, the Director M Night Shyamalan has produced some corkers before (e.g. The Sixth Sense), and sadly, this can't be counted as one of his greats. The execution was a bit ropey, and the end should have stopped at the twist, but I don't think even the pandemic can be blamed for that (it was filmed in 2020 on location). Also, there was no explanation why the famous guy wasn't aging or, in fact, more likely, dead, when the new arrivals find him at the beach. Goof?

In summary, I wouldn't avoid 'Old', but you won't miss much if you wait until it hits home viewing. It was good enough for date night and definitely provoked some thinking. How about a 7/10?

Lou x

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This week is World Breastfeeding Week (1st Aug to 7th Aug), run by the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action - WABA. WABA is a global network of individuals and organisations dedicated to the protection, promotion and support of breastfeeding worldwide.
​
Breastfeeding is a personal choice and there are a few reasons why women will choose not to breastfeed (or may not be capable of doing so). WABA have been running World Breastfeeding Week since 1992 to promote the benefits of breastfeeding and to encourage a world where it is accepted and safe for women to do so in public too.

The objectives of World Breastfeeding Week 2021 are to:

- Inform people about the importance of breastfeeding;
- Anchor breastfeeding support as a vital public health responsibility;
- Engage with individuals and organisations for greater impact;
- and Galvanise action on protecting breastfeeding to improve public health.

How can you support a breastfeeding mother?

As a woman:
• Play an important role in securing unbiased information and support for breastfeeding and providing it to others
• Aim breastfeeding for the first six months, if you can andnif appropriate, having the courage to ask for support if needed
• Discuss complementary foods/feeding and continued breastfeeding from 6-24+ months
• Speak about breastfeeding as a feminist issue and support each other to breastfeed in public
• Share experiences to build a mother’s own confidence in her breastfeeding journey

As a man:
• Be aware of the negative influence of industry promotion practices on breastfeeding
• Play a proactive role in the decision to breastfeed and attend antenatal and postnatal classes to learn more about breastfeeding
• Promote the participation of men in parenting and domestic responsibilities including providing emotional support to their partners
• Empower breastfeeding mothers by raising awareness of and maintaining optimum breastfeeding practices
• Form a network with other fathers and family members within the community to support breastfeeding mothers

Breastfeeding mothers are protected under the Equality Act 2010. The Equality Act 2010 says that it is against the law to treat a woman unfavourably because she is breastfeeding. This covers any business or organisation that provides services to the public and it applies to any staff and customers of that business or organisation.

Lou x
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Even the words brighten my outlook, because I know what good they do. I'm off to cuddle my daughter and take the dog for a nature walk. Hello serotonin and oxytocin!
​
Be well, 

Lou x

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Four Podcasts Which Could Boost Your Mental Wellbeing
​
I admit, I was late to the whole ‘listening to podcasts’ thing and struggled to find ones I liked for a long time. However, I have found some awesome wellbeing podcasts, and I’m sharing in the hope that someone reading this finds a gem too.
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1. The Therapy Edit – my favourite of what I’ve found in recent months, not least because it’s only 10-20 mins long. My stamina for podcast listening is quite short, but this one ran through Lockdown (1) and is still available. So helpful and I always feel better after listening to Anna Mathur, who is ‘taking therapy out of the therapy room.’

 

1. The Happiness Lab – a relatively long listen on Spotify, but I find breaking it up using the advert breaks useful. The most recent episode I’ve tuned into was ‘For whom the alarm clock tolls’ – appealed to both my sleep loving and Metallica loving self! – and was really insightful about ‘time confetti’. I really have this concept featuring daily in my life and had no idea! #workinprogress
   
   
2. Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place – another Spotify gem, even if you don’t know exactly who the celebrity guests are. A really wide, honest spectrum of experiences, and often an eye-opener. From Tom Daley to Joe Wicks, Dawn French to Tom Kerridge, learn what makes these celebs happy and maybe pick up some tips yourself.
   
   
3. Finally, the Mindful Mix on BBC Sounds. This is a classical, calming mix tape, and it really takes the pressure off trying to think of relaxing classical music to chill out to.
   
   

Enjoy!

Lou x

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Really, returning to work post Maternity leave felt like a release from Lockdown. Of course, I am still socially distancing and respecting the 'number rules' for meeting people, but having a new focus of going back to work after 13 months of Mat Leave felt like a big change. It wasn't unwelcome, just because of the freedom it felt like, however much I wanted to stay being a full-time mum. I also enjoyed using my brain in a new way!

Also, Lockdown had moved on a bit since then. Gone was the three month total Lockdown where we were not supposed to leave the house apart form a daily walk and medical/food supply runs. Things definitely felt more normal. I only really have missed the cinema, and only a little. When I was pregnant I basically slept for nine months (!!) so we didn't go out at all really, and when baby arrived we had other things on our plate, obviously. I'd like to say I'm missing gigs and theatres, but experiencing that part of city culture was rare for me, however enjoyable they were before Lockdown.

I think how I'm feeling now, like many other people, is we are firmly in a 'new normal'. And this 'new normal' isn't temporary, like the 'normal' we were subjected to in the early summer. Thank goodness that didn't last an enormously long time (and that the weather was so great!), and let's hope national Lockdown doesn't happen again.

I appreciate many people are fearing job losses, suffering health issues, and worried for their children mixing at school, but for us, we're feeling lucky. This form of Lockdown isn't so bad. It's all relative, isn't it; comparing these days to days back in April, it's a totally different situation down here in Bristol. London and the north is struggling in particular, and comparing my situation to people who have family members with Covid or who need to shield isn't really fair, but we're doing ok. What has really helped is all the socially distanced dog walking with a friend or two, and having one of my closest mates support bubbling with us. She lives on her own, so it's totally legit, but honestly, I feel like the support is more for me!!!

What has been quite different in the last three months is my day job. I work part-time as a PA in a government department, and every day, in normal times, I'd take the Park & Ride into the city centre, working in an open plan office with over 1000 desks. Now I'm working from home indefinitely, which is totally different. There's a whole blog on that subject alone, but it's mainly a good thing, and I feel much safer than having to use public transport and mix with people I have no idea how well they are following the government safety guidelines. I am blessed to have a job I can work from home with, keeping a routine is so helpful. 

Two weeks ago I started a new role (same department). This was a strange process with a video interview and starting work on day one in my spare room. El Husbandio and I both work in the same room Tuesdays and Thursdays - I think that'll be the biggest challenge!! We're already kind of on top of each other day and night.

Of course, I'm saying "roll on that vaccine!" and I miss my friends and family - and the warm weather!!! - but honestly, I'd love to keep working from home. It's so easy to fit in walking the dog, receiving deliveries, managing nursery drop offs/collections, it's (mostly) quiet, I have my home comforts... I even managed a haircut on my lunchbreak back in August! I do miss the company of my team some days, but it's fast becoming the new normal that we catch up on video and have social check ins. And if my work situation stays this way for a while, I shan't be complaining. 

My lockdown buddies and I are staying safe. We're not being risky (nursery being the only wild card really) and we're hanging in there. 

​Stay safe yourselves! 

Lou x

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I'm going back to work this week after 13 months of maternity leave, and I am full of emotions. I've thoroughly enjoyed being a new mum and having so much time looking after Rox. Honestly, if we could afford it, I wouldn't be going back to work. Consequently it's been a bit of an emotional time lately, and I've felt pressured to 'enjoy the time' I have left with Rox, even through the limits of lockdown. 

Here's a few of the things which have been playing on my mind...

 - Will I remember  what I need to for my role? My brain is a bit mushy right now!
 - Will my new mum crowd drift away?
 - Will our childcare plan work out well? This involves El Husbandio having Rox two days in a row, he'll be learning fast!
 - Will I be as good as my team expect or remember me to be?
 - Is there anything I should do before I return to work to help Rox's development? To enjoy myself?
 - Why are me and El Husbandio at each other this week?
 - How will domestic duties be split now I won't be as available?
 - How will home working work when both of us are in the office?

So many things on my mind!

I had a bad day today with all this - and more - going round my brain. I realised I felt 

This is a bit of a lethal combination for me, the Big Three. These feelings do dominate when I'm having a rough time. Spotting I felt this way is a HUMUNGOUS achievement for me, given I had no emotional awareness a couple of years back. I've worked hard to recognise my emotions and to help let them be and pass, if they're not helpful. 

I didn't want to reflect any more. It was getting too much.

I took some deep breaths. . 
I spent some time in the garden alone. 
I reminded myself I'll still be a mum forever, it's not ending. 
I thought of the near future, how exciting it'll be when Rox is walking, talking...
I made a mental list of all the great things Rox and I are planning for the next year.
I reminded myself that I like my boss, my job, I'm going to go back to having a monthly income. 

And this helped enormously. I start work on Wednesday, and I don't feel terrible about it. Now I feel

  Proud
  Relaxed
  Sad

I'm immensely proud of what I've achieved this year, relaxed about going back to work (slowly does it, it'll feel normal before long), but still a little bit sad still I won't have my little shadow by my side all day. 

And that's ok. 

​Lou x

This isn't a huge ask for me, as it's kind of like a paper blog, right up my street, especially when I have a pretty notebook to scribble in. We've been encouraged to do whatever we wish for content, just to record something every day to help with anxiety, depression, boredom etc during Lockdown. 

I know writing can be therapeutic - have even blogged about it in the past - but I hadn't realised just how good journaling can be for your mental and physical health.

For me, it helps me keep my brain ticking over while I'm not working. It's a fantastic outlet for emotions and can help with clarity. When I'm in a bad patch with my anxiety (thankfully not for several months now) I feel confused and foggy, and clarity is something I really need to work towards, so this really helps. 

On good days, like today, journaling helps me to appreciate the small things. Today I wrote down three  good things which came along today. 

1. I made a new type of sweet bread - Dulce Milanese. (Not worth the 6 hour prove and 25 mins of kneading!!)
2. The sunshine was amazing today.
3. I spoke to my grandma who's isolating with my uncle in Norfolk. 

It's easy to see here how journaling can really give you a boost. The blog on Positive Psychology says there's 83 benefits!!!!

https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-journaling/

Have you ever tried journaling? It doesn't have to be much, just listing three good things each day counts, but some people write poems, sketch, 'flow' write, do a diary... you can do whatever takes your fancy really, as long as you do it every day.

Stay well,

Lou x

You may be tempted to visit beauty spots or family/friends, but don't. Stay safe, keep your family safe. Protect the NHS and save lives. 

There's much to be enjoyed at home and in this good weather, so make the most of it! 

We're planning a BBQ for the three of us, a replanting of seeds since the slugs got our veg, bread baking, and setting up the static exercise bike. If it's super nice, the paddling pool might even make an appearance!

Stay safe,

Lou x