I fancied a bit of random non-fiction and went with Brit(ish) by Afua Hirsch and it has been my favourite book so far this year so far. Really an interesting read, very thought provoking. I studied identity in place when I was at university, so the content rang some engaging bells, and I felt like I'd learned something useful. If you're into the history of race, slavery, sexualised race, I'd recommend it for sure. 

My next favourite was a big 'un - IT by Stephen King. It's a monster - pun intended - taking me 17 months to finish. I was reading other books in-between to break it up as I started to dream about creepy clowns and needed a break. Very different to the film - which I LOVE LOVE LOVE - and some bits I wondered why they were needed (no spoilers, but 'the Bev bit' at the end with all the boys seemed a bit unnecessary), but a good read still. A real accomplishment!

Third favourite was a real curveball. A friend gave me Hyperbole and a Half (Allie Brosh) and it really made me laugh out loud in places. Pretty much the opposite to IT, and I raced through it (lots of pictures helps). Silly and fun, a good change of literary scene, and I never would have picked it myself, so thank you to my friend xx

The other three I've read since January weren't so good. You win some, you lose some, but I didn't give up! After Me Comes The Flood was one I picked up at the book swap I held with my friends for my birthday - bit weird and not much going on. A Case Of Exploding Mangoes - you got me, I picked it out from the charity shop shelves just because the title amused me. Serves me right! And Rebecca's Tale? This is kind of a sequel/fan fiction story which follows one of my all-time favourite books, 'Rebecca' by Daphne Du Maurier, 20 years after Rebecca's death. It was ok, but nowhere near as good as the original. A bit unfair to compare, perhaps, but that's how it was for me. 

​I'm crashing through books at the moment, being heavily pregnant and using it as a great excuse to put my feet up. I am also, as a consequence, well over half way through my 12 books for 2019 Good Reads challenge. Yay me! 

Now I'm reading Spies ~ Michael Frayn. A new author for me, but it fits in well with my 'try something new' attitude I seem to have at the moment. I wouldn't normally go for historical fiction, but the first 30 pages have flown by - always a good sign. 

On my TO READ LIST:

 - Game of Thrones - will start with the first (giant) volume and see how I like it for the series
 - My first James Bond book
 - Catcher in the Rye by J.B.Salinger

Find out more about what I've been reading on my Good Reads page. 

Ciao for now, 

Lou x

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This self-indulgent post came about from a chat with a friend of mine. She hasn't had kids, and this is my first - it dawned on us how little we knew and what odd expectations we had/have of what being pregnant was going to feel like.

Before getting pregnant, I imagined I would be a puker. I imagined significant weight gain, and, yay, the freedom to eat what I want (the causing factor the weight gain, but hey, I'm pregnant!). I did not expect to be so tired I fell asleep at my desk at work. I didn't puke til I got a stomach bug (twice), and actually am losing weight due to the limited diet of Gestation Diabetes kicking in. There has to be some up-sides, even if it means I would kill for a bowl of granola right now!!

I appreciate every woman's journey is different - my mother-in-law swears she had ZERO symptoms bar a growing belly - but here I am, just for fun and because I'm a little bored, in cartoon form, 31 weeks in. Two months to go!

EDIT: 2 WEEKS LATER... Now I can add fainting spells, heartburn, pelvic girdle pain (bum cheeks, hips, 'undercarriage' - mainly at night), bleeding gums and constipation to the list!

You can see, it's been a fairly un-enjoyable ride so far! And I'm not even a 'complicated' pregnancy.

Some symptoms really don't bother me (e.g. the caffeine deprivation headache - it only lasted 3-4 days), and some are some bonuses (e.g. good hair), but most of pregnancy is just plain hard work. There's been two occasions (admittedly before anyone realised I had Gestational Diabetes and that something was up) when I've slept night-day-night. And yeah, 'belly growth' is an obvious side-effect, but I hadn't realised how soon I'd need maternity jeans and how tight my belly would feel - constantly. It's a big job, growing a human!

What's surprised me in a positive way is that I'm totally not freaked out by having a little being inside me. Pregnant bellies used to make me feel a bit grossed out, and I thought I'd be horrified seeing my belly move when little one does her acrobatics, but actually it's pretty amusing. And the size of my bump is 'tidy', I've been told; I'm kinda proud of it, really. As hard work as it's all been so far, my daughter is doing amazing, even if I feel a bit rough most days.

I've also felt a lot less emotional that I imagined. Hormones are a 'Bee with an Itch', causing everything from acne to diabetes, and I've been pretty consumed with PMS in the past, so I was preparing for the worst... with no need. Sure, I've had a handful of days when I've cried for no reason, but luckily it's not been in public! I've generally felt a lot more chilled, probably mostly due to the fact I'm tired/sleeping (i.e. silent) more. El Husbandio has got off lightly there, I think!

It's not good to compare, but whenever I feel a bit miserable about not sleeping due to hip pain, or I'm dying for a massive piece of chocolate tiffin, I remember my friend's mum's story. She was confined to a hospital bed for both her children's gestational period. I can still work, meet with friends, and I'm well looked after at home with a husband who likes to cook and is ever-so-slightly obsessed with cleaning and DIY. We're truly nesting!

It's totally got to a 'means to an end' situation in my world, and I can't wait for Baby to arrive.

Lou x

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Now there's a question. I didn't really expect an answer when I tweeted this message this morning, but my random 'had to share' musing made me think (more). Why do bad things happen to good people?

Recently, some friends of mine have been 'going through the mill'. From medical and financial complications, to spirit-crushing things at work and problems at home, things seems to be an uphill struggle. They're good people though, so how is this fair that their life is not sunny? Why can't they be given a break, or at least be given reasons for why such things happen?

I guess the question I tweeted is an age old question as no one really knows why things like that happen. Sure, sometimes it's bad decision making or a brief lack of judgement, but I see so many cases where there's nothing they did wrong. Some would say "life just sucks sometimes" but that's a bit simple and defeatist to me. Here's my opinion on why bad stuff happens to good people.

1. People who feel pain more intensely  may be those who care and love more. More openly, stronger, without judgement. That's a nice way of thinking about it, and it may be true. Totally stole this from the last episode of Fleabag on the BBC, by the way. Find it on the iplayer for a few weeks, well worth a binge.

2. Perhaps people who are nice, unselfish and caring expect the same from other people. I personally don't think this is unreasonable, but maybe it makes good eggs more vulnerable or naïve... Cue the bite in the ass shock you get when it's not a mutual thing. I know I've been there. I've expected the same courtesies back from people sometimes and received the opposite, and probably most of us can relate to this.

3. It doesn't apply most of the crap that's happening to my friends at the moment, and it's a bit of a weak argument, but sometimes good people can be busy people. Maybe having minor undesirable stuff happen to them could be a side-effect of distraction, stress, or just a lack of time to do things properly or on time?

4. Some good people may know they're good people and unintentionally offend or make mistakes as they know they didn't mean to cock-up. If you didn't mean to cause waves or create a negative situation, surely everyone understands that you meant well?! Well, no. They won't. Everyone is different. Good people are not perfect, give yourself a break, make amends if needs be, and know you meant no harm. And if people don't 'get' you, that's their problem, not yours.

It just occurred to me that bad things happen to bad people too. It's universal. Bad people may just absorb them better, be less inclined to share the news, or maybe we non-baddies think "well deserved" and move on, forgetting... Good things happen all the time though, so look out for the light and the moments of joy.

Yes, life does suck sometimes, and often you'll find you've seemed to have done nothing to deserve it. But good people should be rewarded, in my book, with less sh*t to deal with. Sometimes it's relentless and, if you're reading this, God, this tactic needs improvement! 

Just keep swimming, folks, and be kind to one another. After all, kindness and unselfish actions are often just the absence of 'unkindness' and selfishness. And if you are kind to others, that could be their 'good thing' that happens to that good person that day. Pay it forward!

Have a great week,

Lou x

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Born To Be A Tourist