A year ago today, I married El Husbandio, as he's become known as on my blog. Thank you, yes, we're doing great and loving being married!

We woke up this morning after a good (first!) night's sleep in our new house. Yes, on sofa and floor, pending furniture, but still, very comfy and warm. Exactly how we feel in being married after a year. 

Today couldn't pass me by without a bit of reflection. Memories, love and special treats are all wrapped into today's special date, but I wanted to think about how marriage is different to being boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes, all these things can come with non-married couples, any sex, age and culture, but these changes are what I have seen come around in the 12 months since our ceremony on the beach. 




We represent each other when the other cannot. We rarely can't make things, but if for example, a family event came up and one couldn't make it, the other would go in their place, where possible. I remember having a chat with my mum a few years back when my cousin died; had my sister or I been married, we would have expected our husbands (just boyfriends at the time) to have gone to the funeral in our place. We were both abroad at the time and couldn't make it back. It's a step up from being a couple, representing each other in absence - you're a recognised unit. 

Living together came to El Husbandio and me only after we were married. As he's from Costa Rica and I'm British, visa requirements wouldn't allow us to live together for longer than three months - and that meant three long months of not working for El Husbandio. He was essentially a tourist. Great as that sounds, there were lots of days when he was a bit lost, at a loose end - it's so much better now we've both got a focus and motivation in our jobs! Living together has been a lot of fun, with some trials and bumps in the road, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I feel more at 'home' than ever, even having moved four times since we've been married. Our first night in our first house last night felt... right. 

Of course, we have plans, but since graduating from being a couple to a married couple, our plans have taken a step up too. We're now talking about kids. About bringing his family over to the UK to visit. About DIY projects on our new house. About when and how we might buy an upgrade on our little Toyota. None of this would have been on our radar a year ago. We're more settled and are beginning to grow roots here in Bristol - we're thinking more long-term and bigger. How exciting! Planning has gone to a whole new level when we have our own and some shared dreams and ideas. 

Another way marriage makes our union different is the relationships we have with our and each others parents. I feel more than ever that I have a home in Costa Rica with his family and have learned a lot about how their family unit functions, but I've also learned more about my family in this time. I know El Husbandio feels the same way in reverse. It's a good feeling - it's always better to find ways of understanding your family. Everyone gets disappointed with situations here and there, everyone has arguments... Families are notorious for being difficult sometimes. Getting to know what drives them and how they feel is important and builds links further for the future and can bring a family closer. I thought I knew what marriage was about, having watched my mum and dad over the last 30 years, but never more than now. 

How else has life changed since this time last year? Our finances are more intertwined now we're married. Partly as we now live together, but also because we have plans, a shared bank account, and a limited income. That sounded quite scary at first, but it's wonderful to be able to plan and share together. We've worked out a way to share responsibility of bills and to cope with less money than we expected, and it's working. Share and support: keystones in a successful first year!

I don't know if this is all guff to you; maybe you do all this with your other half and you're not married. Maybe you're married and don't do these things. However, for us, they're important in ways they haven't been before. I've always been an independent person, and I've learned how great it can be to have your best friend, cheerleader and lover on your team, officially. It's taken a lot of work, time, stress and money to get us in the same country and married, and we try every day not to take it for granted. Despite some barneys, some differences and challenges, we're one blessed couple.

Happy anniversary, mi amor xxx

Lou x

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It's been a while since I've posted a wedding blog. We've been married over six months now, so if I'm going to finish the posts, I'd better get going!

So, where should we hold out wedding? We're split geographically by the Atlantic, but it didn't take long for us to decide on Costa Rica as the location. My (now) husband is Costa Rican, and my family are more able to travel - some of his family don't even have passports. We wouldn't consider holding the ceremony without both families being there, so Costa Rica it was. Hmmm... Hard choice?! ;)

Costa Rica is a bigger country than it may seem. Not sure where it is? Check out 'W is for WHERE IS COSTA RICA?!' on my travel blog. There's so many different 'zones', if you like, to the country: the humid north, the popular resorts of the north west, the more rustic Caribbean coast, the mountains and the beaches. We chose a beach location (I'm a real beach bum!), and went for the east coast (Caribbean) as we've had a couple of nice, chilled holidays out there - one of our favourite parts of the country. The west coast is much more commercial and more of a surfer-dude location. We're not surfers, and we are not enormous fans of chain hotels, so we went rustic.

Choosing a venue for the ceremony was a bit harder to decide on. We wanted a hotel with easy beach access and a pool. We were playing host to 12 family members for a couple of nights, so we wanted everything to be included when we booked our stay for minimal fuss and maximum fun. We approached 20 different hotels over a three week period, and only two, sadly, got back to us. Where are these hotels' business heads?! We were here, ready to make a booking, and spend some serious bucks at their location. But well, this is Costa Rica! Many places didn't even have a website...

We also wanted a place where we were not surrounded by other tourists, and with enough space for the two families to hang out with or without each other. This was, after all, the first time they'd meet. That's another story!

We eventually went for Perla Negra (Black Pearl), a small hotel with apartments attached, a bar, a pool and beach front facing, walking distance into the town - perfect for our families. We had our... difficulties, shall we say, in planning our wedding at this venue, namely the owners falling out with each other... but all in all it worked out just fine. Beautiful, in fact.  I did have some low expectations as a result, but Jessica (our wedding coordinator) and her team astounded us with the thought and lovely extras which went into our stay. 

I used to laugh at people who said their wedding day was the best day of their life. Ridiculous, when you think the average person has over 24,000 days to choose from. However, now, I get it. All the planning, all the expenditure, the family time, all the food and good feeling... It was the best day I could images. If I could summarrise with just one word it would be FUN. Our wedding was fun, which is, I like to think, how Roberto and I enjoy our lives. We try to have fun. Sure, there were hiccups (scrraggy dog in the photos, a last minute time change of the ceremony - bringing it forward to avoid possible rain - one of the readings being left pinned to a fridge back home, the 'lawyer' who forgot the ring exchange part of the ceremony, the rubbish translator, me almost having a dress covered in leaf cutter ants), but I remembered my Grandma's advice: Something ALWAYS goes wrong at a wedding. There's so much involved, it can't all go without a hitch! (No pun intended).

Happily, the hiccups were contained in the ceremony. The rest of the day/night went perfectly - amazing food, incredible cake, gorgeous decor, great music (live and via our carefully chosen playlist) and dancing, loads to drink, wonderful company who really go into the spirit of the fiesta... even some spontaneous pool diving took place.

Even with the things which went a bit wrong earlier in the day, I didn't care. I was there, getting married to my best friend, with my family present. I wouldn't change a thing and hope to have every day of my life with a little memory popping into my head to make me smile.

If we'd have gone anywhere else, the whole wedding would have been different. I can't imagine it better and I wouldn't want it worse. Our wedding was spot on.

Find out more about Costa Rica from my A-Z of the country on Born to be a Tourist!

Lou x

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I've been reading a lot of new blogs this week and have discovered a lot of new writers, inspiration and ideas. Thanks to Wedding and Wedding Flowers, I have discovered all sorts of weird and wonderful wedding traditions from British and Irish history. 

Did you know...?

The phrase 'tying the knot' comes from the ancient Celtic wedding ritual of handfasting, where the bride's and groom's hands were tied together.

Unnerving... Start as you mean to go on?!

An old wives' tale states that if the younger of two sisters marries first, the older sister must dance barefoot at the wedding or risk never getting married herself. 

Not a problem in my family, I'm the eldest!

Early wedding cakes didn't sound too tasty: flat, round, contained fruit and nuts to symbolise fertility and it was often crumbled over the bride's head.

How horrible! Not my idea of confetti!

It was said to be bad luck of the bride fell when entering the marital home for the first time, which is why being carried over the threshold is such a tradition. It may also derive from the bygone custom of the bride being 'stolen' and carried off by her groom.

Love this one, but the chances of us having our own place when we're married are quite slim at the moment!

In Ireland, a laying hen was, in the past, tied to the bed on the first night of the honeymoon in the hope that some of its fertility would be passed on to the couple. 

Noisy night, anyone?

Finally, and perhaps the strangest one of all, prior to a change in the law (2012), a wedding was only legal in the UK if it took place between 8am - 6pm. Apparently this was due to a concern that the groom wouldn't be able to see his bride's face clearly after dark and could therefore be duped into marrying a stranger. 

What about the bride being duped?! We're being wed at 4pm, so we're both safe on that score!

Aside from the last one, I think my fiancé and I will leave those traditions in history's arms. Sure, we've got some traditional stuff planned (I'm a reluctant traditionalist!), but the little things we do in our ceremony are more symbolic than most of the above, and some just aren't practical. There will be a hen do, a night apart before the big day, and during the ceremony we plan to do a rose exchange in between our two mums to symbolise the joining of the two families. Also, I couldn't walk down the aisle without my dad!

Will you, or did you, include any of these traditions in your ceremony?

Lou x

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Black and white image courtesy of Cartoon Stock

On a recent sporty shopping errand, I found these shirts in a Sports Direct store in Northampton. 

They scream wedding at me!!!!

Completely on colour theme, I think my bridesmaids will love them! They'll be cool on the beach and made of cotton too. Even better, there's a deal if you buy two!

No bridesmaid dress shopping for us, wooo!!!

My groom-to-be took the photo so he obviously approves...

(This is a total joke). 

Lou x

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...And on Twitter
Born To Be A Tourist