This is a post which reflects my fiance's and my views on marriage in general, through the medium of wedding planning - a little more serious a blog post than some of the fluffier aspects!

From day one, he and I have been deliberately sharing all possible decisions about 'our day'. We have investigated options, shared ideas, and made decisions together. When we hit obstacles (and believe me, we have!), we've worked through our options together. There is not a whiff of the infuriating attitude of 'planning a wedding is a bride's realm'. We're in it together. 

Honestly, I could have planned the wedding and all that comes with it myself - I'm that kind of organised person - but I wouldn't want to. Having my fiance's input was assumed. It's also highly valuable as we're building the day (ok, 4 days!) that we want, not just what I (or a hypothetical wedding planner would) want. 

When people ask me (and they have) if Roberto is toeing the line and letting me plan the wedding of a lifetime, I say "no, he is not toeing the line". And I pause. They look shocked/saddened/worried. Then I say "there is no line to toe." We are planning OUR wedding together. It's not just my job!

It's kind of worked out well, really. We both have our strengths and weaknesses (don't ask me to order flowers in Spanish!!!) and we both have parts we enjoy more than others. I, for example, am really enjoying making the crafty bits like invitations and programmes, even with my questionable talent. My fiance is really good at doing the jobs 'on the ground' as he's actually in Costa Rica (where we're getting married) and he knows a lot more about local customs and people who can help us out with cakes, flowers etc. Finally, we seem to agree on most things. This sounds so fairytale, but it's not. We're just on the same page - we want a small wedding, a good party, and lots of thought being poured into the time we spend bringing our families together for the first time. 

Sure, there's one or two elements of the wedding festivities I'm not telling him about - case in point, the dress - but every decision we can make together, we are. It's not tedious, it's enjoyable. We have time to do this, having a 7.5 month engagement, and between me and you, I know he's enjoying making little decisions about invitation designs as much as I am. His dedication to the event is impressive, which again, is nothing but exciting, heart-warming, and a blessing, me being 9,000km from where we're getting wed.

Who's wedding is it anyway? Mine and his. Who's marriage is this? Mine and his. We're in it together and we're keeping it that way. 

Check out How To Have A Feminist Wedding if this kind of blog content floats your nuptial boat. 

Lou x

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I'm having a bad day. A toughie. Things don't always go the way you want them to, but it's detrimental in more ways that one. Sometimes chaos intrudes in my brain and it makes me not want to write. I'd rather be tucked up with my duvet watching the next episode of Dexter, the DVD box set I'm working through just now. 

However, I am a writer. I am a blogger who posts on Fridays, so I would be letting myself down if I didn't post something here. 

So what can I share when I'm feeling 'meh'?

Here is a list of things which make me feel better, even if it's just the thought of it, when times get rough. 

A cuddle and a cup of tea - that fixes many things!
A good joke  (OK, ok, here's the latest one I've heard... What do you call a donkey with three legs? A wonky....)
Pizza
Starting a good new book
Being productive  - cleaning can even help here!
A baby elephant smiling
Playing a game with my boyfriend - not that kind... even "I SPY works for us!
Jumping in puddles in my wellies
Spending time with my family
Baking a cake
Random stranger conversations which make me laugh. I was called 'babe' by a 70 year old school caretaker yesterday!
Walking through crunchy fallen leaves
Food in fun shapes
Pretty stamps (I don't collect them, but I love coming across them)

Simple things... 

And making a list is still considered 'writing', right?!

Check out Positive News online if you're having a touch day yourself - and then write about what inspires you!

I feel better already! Enjoy your weekend, guys!

Lou x

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My wonderful local library, Towcester Library, are holding a book sale. This was no ordinary sale... Anyone can go along and grab a jute bag and fill it with books! Amazing idea - and it only cost £3 per bag. I say "per bag" because I could have walked away with one on each arm, but I showed great restraint in only filling one. That's more than enough to last me until the end of the year and through my next holiday, hooray!

I was a little disappointed there was no one volume there which was on my 'to read' list already, but all the better in a way - my 'to read' list has become longer and I am going to be trying new authors as a result of some literary gambles. Nothing could be worse than Don Quixote, the novel I'm reading at the moment for part of my 30 Before 30!

So how did I pick my books?

Three of them are a present for my fiance: Surviving Extremes (just his cuppa tea), Villainous Victorians (he loves history) and a book on how to improve your swimming technique. He wasn't too overjoyed with me choosing the last one for him - he's a good swimmer already - but I think he was 66% pleased, so that's not bad!

Another book chosen is intended as a present for a friend I'm borrowing a car parking space off next month. He loves to travel by bus and gets his money's worth of his pensioners bus pass, so the Great British Bus Journeys was irresistible as a little 'thank you' present. 

And the rest of the books - all for me! Whoopee! Cancel my social life, I'll be reading! 

I'm chuffed I found an Iain M. Banks novel (love him), and I know Small Island is a winner; I read it a few years ago and loved it - so glad to have my own (almost free) copy! Jodi Picoult is a throwback to my teen years, so it's a bit digressive, but I know I'll enjoy it. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry will bring back memories to anyone in my Mr Leslie English class at school - we studied it for SATs or GCSE (I forget which) and I can't remember any of it, so I grabbed this copy to remind me. It's one of those ones you should read, if I remember correctly. The rest are total mysteries to me, author and title. I hope I'll discover a new writer I love... if not, they'll all end up in a charity shop!

I'm starting to wade through the volumes this lunch time with Paul Torday - The Girl On The Landing. 

#ILoveLibraries
#ILoveBooks

15 books for £3. That's 20p each. Bargain. Thanks, Towcester Library! 

Lou x

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P.S. I pinched the title from an actual campaign - check out Books Are My Bag on Twitter or search #booksaremybag!

Phew - almost forgot my Friday blog this week! And that would have been a shame... I have a great project to share with you this week. Thanks for stopping by! x

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The HeART of a Woman

Most people now have a smartphone of some sort, and even the older models have a camEveryone gets frustrated with mobile phone 'photographers' at some point. They hold up queues of people getting 'that' shot. You end up being the unwitting subject of their disposable photos. And you know the images of your hungover on your tube commute will get onto Facebook. 

But here's another part to the boom in mobile photography: an enterprising project which seeks to give a louder voice to women in developing nations, as well as teaching them skills to build a sustainable small business. Working in the commercial recycling sector, sustainable business is something close to my heart. I'm also a believer in the UN Millennium Development Goals which seek to create a better, fairer, more environmentally friendly world. 

The Heart of a Woman Project (THOAW) is a mobile photography initiative that empowers women impacted by poverty. It was founded by Andrea Rees, a professional photographer of 11 years based in Toronto, Canada. Andrea is a  mom, wife, entrepreneur,  iPhoneographer, travel blogger at wanderingiphone.com and Global Citizen.

Donated iPhones find their way to women in South Africa. They are not used for twittering around on Twitter, or playing Candy Crush on Facebook, but for a much larger, forward thinking cause. The women have become entrepreneurs taking photos of their much-loved country; issues, landscape, wildlife, community... the photos are all there. The budding photographers then have their images made into postcards which they can sell to supplement their family's income in a future-proofed way. 

What a great idea! Take a look at the postcards for sale here!

The current project from this enterprising initiative is based in South Africa. Their mission is "to educate women in developing communities impacted by poverty in photography, mobile technology and social media to empower, have a voice and create sustainable income and small business through the sales of their photographic art products."

Financial donations are requested, and they have a clever widget on the project website which shows how far they are away from their target amount. The money goes directly to the project, and pays for things like:

• Display stand(s) & printed materials for retailers
• Marketing and printed materials (business cards/brochures)
• Production of additional products (greeting cards & coffee table book) and sample products
• Transportation or petrol for offsite trips (printer, distribution, internet cafe)
• Internet for on-going social media
• Photography Exhibition for Month of Photography (October 2014)
  
  

This all seems to tie in quite nicely into Millennium Goal no. 7: Promote gender equality and empower women. It's a simple idea, but it has such effect to the lives of these women and their families. They can pay for food, clothing, better housing and healthcare, and send their kids to school with the extra income they're making through selling postcards. 

We need more people like Andrea Rees and her THOAW project team! Keep up the good work, guys.

Make a donation today!

Visit The Heart of a Woman online today and help make a difference to a young family's life.

Not got much time? Just share this post! They, and I, would be very grateful. 

See you next week. 

Lou x

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Born To be A Tourist

Images courtesy of THOAW website

Today, there are commemorations happening in France and the south-east coast of the UK to mark the 70th anniversary of the D-Day Landings in World War Two. For anyone who's not aware, D-Day was the start of "Operation Overlord", the 1944 Allied invasion of Nazi-occupied western Europe, involving a landing of 156,000 troops. This operation began on the beaches of Normandy on the western French coast. It was the amphibious manoeuvre which marked the start of the end of the war. As many as 4,000 Allied troops and 9,000 German died in one day.

Here in the UK, it is easy to let commemorations of both world wars wash over you a little - there are so many things going on throughout the year to remember the events of this key part of British (and indeed, world) history. Poppies in November, various key events which are remembered, and there will be more to come due to other conflicts. I feel incredible guilty typing that, but I think it's true in a way. However, today, 6th June 2014, is special. Today is the final official marking by veterans of the landings. As you can imagine, most of the veterans are in their 90's now and their numbers are declining. The veterans association is dis-banding. 

In the next few years, the memories of D-Day will become history as the last of the survivors pass away. 

It is important, in my opinion, that the ones left behind who were too young or not yet born to remember it to sustain an inherited memory of events like these. My grandparents were not involved in D-Day, but they were a soldier, a Wren and an evacuee in World War Two, and I have been lucky enough to hear stories from all three of them. Two of my grandparents have passed away. I miss them every day, even after a few years have passed by. I believe, in a similar vein to remembering D-Day veterans and events, remembering my dear grandparents every day is a way to retain the memories of their persons and a way to honour them and what they brought to our family, their communities, and indeed their country. The memories of my grandparents who've died are gone. The stories they told me have become memories for me; memories I cannot pass on to my future children, but I can certainly pass on what I have learned about my beloved grandparents to help them create their own family history.

History is being made every day, most hours. We cannot commemorate EVERYTHING, but we can record it and we should remember important memories like these. We can, of course, mark past events to remember those who gave their lives. However, we also need to remember to feel proud for the bravery, skill, and dedication those involved - and isn't just respect for the soldiers we should show. What about the planners, the people in logistics, the people who dealt with the ones who came home injured/dead, the women behind the scenes? 

Memories are both easy and difficult to hang on to, but they should be a lesson for the future. What use is history if it doesn't teach us something? Any military personnel reading this will probably think of the lessons learned from the conflict and be able to reflect on so much that has changed, but the rest of us can join this reflection too. 

Why were we at war? What were we fighting for? Why was it so important? What humanity was shown in these dark days? How would the UK, Europe, the world be different had World War Two had a different ending?

Watching the coverage on the BBC today, there seems to be a sense of humility among the veterans, not seeing themselves as heroes. Indeed, it's turned into a family event, where stories are shared and new memories are made. 

We need to ensure the lessons learned and the reason the UK declared war on the Nazis is not forgotten as those who were involved are buried. World War Two should not leave our school text books for a long time yet. However, I have a strong opinion that more history than just World War Two should be taught in secondary schools. Years 9-11 in my school (1990s) was solid war learning, and it could have been much better structured... but that's a whole other rant/blog.
 
On this emotional and sombre day, I have a message for the veterans still with us, and a thought for the ones who've died since and on the day. Simply, thank you for our freedom. 

Special mention to 89 year old Jock Hutton who repeated his parachute jump from 70 years ago this morning. Incredible. Well done him!

Lou x

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Images courtesy of Cross Fit James Island and the BBC website