The local fruit trees are just coming into season, but I'd never noticed the cherries before. I picked exactly one cup's worth too, on a whim, and that's exactly what I needed for a recipe I found later that afternoon. 

I have never baked (or indeed, tasted) cherry scones with fresh fruit before, but these are YUMMY. The dough was really wet, which made rolling it out and using a cutter impossible, but I 'blobbed it' on a baking tray and they came out pretty well. 

Ooh look, it's time for afternoon snack. 

​Lou x

Lockdown Wellbeing:

Productivity: See above
Make myself happy: Enjoyed having a coffee in the garden with my brother this afternoon. 
Made someone else smile: I delivered a chococlate cake to my very pregnant friend. 

I'm going back to work this week after 13 months of maternity leave, and I am full of emotions. I've thoroughly enjoyed being a new mum and having so much time looking after Rox. Honestly, if we could afford it, I wouldn't be going back to work. Consequently it's been a bit of an emotional time lately, and I've felt pressured to 'enjoy the time' I have left with Rox, even through the limits of lockdown. 

Here's a few of the things which have been playing on my mind...

 - Will I remember  what I need to for my role? My brain is a bit mushy right now!
 - Will my new mum crowd drift away?
 - Will our childcare plan work out well? This involves El Husbandio having Rox two days in a row, he'll be learning fast!
 - Will I be as good as my team expect or remember me to be?
 - Is there anything I should do before I return to work to help Rox's development? To enjoy myself?
 - Why are me and El Husbandio at each other this week?
 - How will domestic duties be split now I won't be as available?
 - How will home working work when both of us are in the office?

So many things on my mind!

I had a bad day today with all this - and more - going round my brain. I realised I felt 

This is a bit of a lethal combination for me, the Big Three. These feelings do dominate when I'm having a rough time. Spotting I felt this way is a HUMUNGOUS achievement for me, given I had no emotional awareness a couple of years back. I've worked hard to recognise my emotions and to help let them be and pass, if they're not helpful. 

I didn't want to reflect any more. It was getting too much.

I took some deep breaths. . 
I spent some time in the garden alone. 
I reminded myself I'll still be a mum forever, it's not ending. 
I thought of the near future, how exciting it'll be when Rox is walking, talking...
I made a mental list of all the great things Rox and I are planning for the next year.
I reminded myself that I like my boss, my job, I'm going to go back to having a monthly income. 

And this helped enormously. I start work on Wednesday, and I don't feel terrible about it. Now I feel

  Proud
  Relaxed
  Sad

I'm immensely proud of what I've achieved this year, relaxed about going back to work (slowly does it, it'll feel normal before long), but still a little bit sad still I won't have my little shadow by my side all day. 

And that's ok. 

​Lou x

Something possessed me and I couldn't turn the oven off. I've just kept going since Sundays major charity bake, it seems!!

The rolls are linseed and oat (for tea), the buns are almond sponge with cherries for decoration (reminds me of my grandma), and the carrot cake is egg free - vegan, actually - as my baby can't eat egg. 

​So there's my productivity ticked off for today...
For myself... I participated in a weekly quiz my mum friends and I do, and I won, even with the theme of TV! I don't watch much so I wasnt hopeful, but yay!
And to make someone else smile, Rox and I played for ages with the Paw Patrol sit-on car we have, making the lights flash, the sounds blare, and riding on top. Love her laugh!!

Lou x

I promised you photos!

My kind friends and family helped me to raise £175 for this worthy cause. It was exhausting and delivering them all in Bristol took some time, but I really enjoyed it. I have a feeling my home baking business 280 Bakes will be back this year! 

Thank you again to all who donated xxx

Lou x