I'm currently reading Barbara Kingsolver's 'Flight Behaviour', and I struck a real gem among her words last night, cuddled up in bed. The protagonist, at this point, is going out to check a scientific instrument, showing dedication and interest in a project she never dreamed she'd be working on, right in her backyard (page 323). It's pouring with rain and yo-yoing between 30-40 degrees Farenheit (it's an American book). 

Doesn't it make you shiver? I can remember mornings like that...

It's good writing for empathy and atmosphere, but the real reason I wanted to share this masterful (part) sentence was to showcase the skills Kingsolver has for 'show, don't tell'. The idea of this tool for writing is to create texts which enable the reader to tune into the story through action, words, thoughts, senses, and feelings of the characters involved, rather than through description.

Why is 'show, don't tell' so important? It's essential to good writing, and something I try to achieve on every page I write. The writer is hinting at a subtext, in this case, the personal description and character of the protagonist. She is clearly someone who needs to wear glasses (or perhaps chooses to - but in this case, most people would leave their specs at home if it was raining, should they not require them for more than a fashion statement!), who owns a decent outdoor weather-ready coat, and the character needs to be able to see clearly for the task she's about to undertake. The creative writing leaves it unsaid, unshown, yet obvious about what the character looks like in a basic form. You can get all of that from one little sentence about a waterproof hood. 

The old adage 'show, don't tell' is so important to writing it's now included in Key Stage 2 English classes in English schools. Bravo!

Anton Chekov put it brilliantly:

​However, 'show, don't tell' should be implemented with some caution. According to writer James Scott Bell, "Sometimes a writer tells as a shortcut, to move quickly to the meaty part of the story or scene. Showing is essentially about making scenes vivid. If you try to do it constantly, the parts that are supposed to stand out won't, and your readers will get exhausted." In other words, use with restraint! Joshua Henkin also agrees. The object of the work is to find a perfect balance between a deep, vivid picture conjured in the readers mind, and allowing them to fill in the blanks themselves.

Over half way through the (thick) book, I'm not enamored with 'Flight Behaviour'. Yet, page by page, I notice examples of fantastic writing I hope to emulate one day. And that's reading, not critiquing. I'm reading as a reader, not as a writer (for fun!), but hopefully some of the better examples of writing are drip feeding into my consciousness, day by day making me an improved writer.

Check out these quick and dirty tips on showing, not telling from Grammar Girl, Mignon Fogarty - well worth the read.

I'd love to hear if you've been struck by a specific sentence or two while reading. What has the text spoken to you?

Lou x

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A week ago today, the literary world lost one of its greats. 

Sue Townsend 
(2 April 1946 – 10 April 2014)

Sue Townsend was an English writer, best known for creating Adrian Mole, the character which first introduced me to the comic and poignant genius of this woman. 

Did you know, the diaries of tortured teenager Adrian Mole sold more copies than any other work of fiction in Britain during its decade? The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾ was a gift from my mum when I was an angst-ridden teenage with a secret diary of my own. Mum opened a door to the world of Sue Townsend, and I hope I can encourage you to begin reading her books too. 

You might be forgiven in thinking that Mrs T was all about just one spotty teenager, but you'd be wrong. Sue's work includes novels, plays and works of journalism. Her warm and touching writing opened up the world of books for me beyond Roald Dahl when I was a young teenager, and I have been a fan ever since. 

It made me wonder though, how many more of her books can I still look forward to reading? A quick look on Wikipedia revealed Sue's full fiction bibliography. Gotta love the internet!

Adrian Mole series

• The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾ (1982), her bestselling book READ IT!
• The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole (1984) READ IT!
• The True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole (1989) READ IT!
• Adrian Mole: From Minor to Major (1991)  - an omnibus of the first three, plus a bonus section
• Adrian Mole: The Wilderness Years (1993) READ IT!
• Adrian Mole: The Cappuccino Years (1999) READ IT!
• Adrian Mole and the Weapons of Mass Destruction (2004)
• The Lost Diaries of Adrian Mole, 1999–2001 (2008)
• Adrian Mole: The Prostrate Years (2009)

I've still got a few Mr Mole books to read, then - I had no idea! Whoop, whoop!

Other novels

• Rebuilding Coventry (1988)
• The Queen and I (1992), a story about the British Royal Family living a "normal" life on an urban housing estate. I've wanted to read this one for long time, so it might be the next ST one I devour. 
• Ghost Children (1997), a novel covering issues of bereavement, child abuse and women's self-esteem through their body image. 
• Number Ten (2002) READ IT!
• Queen Camilla (2006)
• The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year (2012) READ IT - just before ST died. Recommended - hilarious as well as touching.

Which books have you especially enjoyed by the late Sue Townsend? I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

Have a look at the lovely obituary Sue's publisher posted, then get into your favourite online/local bookstore and grab one of her books. You won't regret it!

Enjoy the long weekend, 

Lou x

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Christmas is a time of giving. I'm a reader. If you're in any doubt on what to give me as a present in the future, do as my family wisely did*. Give me books. 

Two books came my way this Christmas:

THE WHITE TIGER ~ Aravind Adiga

This author is previously unknown to me. This novel was added to my Amazon wishlist, originally recommended by a friend when I was travelling last year. 

THE UNFORTUNATES ~ Laurie Graham

I loved Laurie Graham's "The Future Homemakers of America", so this one will hopefully be a good 'un too!

I'm currently trying to finish "Dexter By Design" by Jeff Lindsay (big fan of the Dexter TV series, wading through the books), but I can't wait to get stuck into these two. 

Welcome to any new readers, by the way. I was lucky enough to be invited onto BBC Northampton Radio this lunch time with presenter Helen Blaby. We talked about lots about getting into reading and how great blogs are...  and I managed a cheeky bit of promo for this blog, so it's good to have you here. 

See you next week!

Lou x

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*Feel like I should mention my family didn't just give me two books. I was a very lucky girl this year!

Good afternoon everyone again, thanks for stopping by my weekly writing blog! This week I welcome Sarah LaFleur, NaNoWriMo winner for 2013. She's here to share how she (and 311,830 other dedicated writers) conquered the international NaNo challenge and managed to write a novel in one month. I've invited Sarah to tell us what she learned about her skills as a writer, and to see if she'd brave NaNo again! Take it away, Sarah, and thanks again for guest blogging. 

How I Nailed NaNoWriMo

Like many other writers, I accepted the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge to write a novel (or at least 50K words of one) during the month of November.  This being my first time participating, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  After 30 days of nearly continuous writing (I took 2 days off to work on another project with a pressing deadline) I finished with 50,182 words and a decent first draft of a new science fiction novel!






























Now as most writers know, writing daily can be easy or excruciating depending on the circumstances going into the session.  One of the most difficult parts of this challenge was the feeling that I couldn’t miss a day, even if I wasn’t particularly inspired to write anything.  My initial goal was to get ahead early.  That plan failed miserably!  If you look at my NaNo graph, every time I pulled ahead, something would come up (remember those break days?) to thwart my advance.

Yet, somehow I managed to “win” by getting all my words.  

How did I accomplish this feat?  

Well, I had a great support system of writing buddies to cheer me on and keep me going.  Often we would meet on twitter and complete “writing sprints” together by writing for a set amount of time and then tweet our word count for the duration.  I also had my own motivation in the form of a sticker chart (yes stickers!) where I would earn a small sticker for every 250 words and a big sticker when I hit my daily goal of 1750 words.  There were so many days I would have quit if it weren’t for that big sticker reward.

So, what did I learn from this experience?  

Firstly, I am a very consistent writer.  Whatever word count I achieve in the first thirty minutes of writing typically stays the same for the duration of the session.  I have always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants author, but I outlined extensively (meaning I spent an entire hour placing chapter markers and notes for all 30 days) and that helped get me through the dead zones of the book.  I am incapable of writing without editing at the same time, and although it cost me on my daily count, I’m hoping it will also mean when I revisit the story in a few months, I’ll still like it.  

Finally, all this begs the question; will I participate again next year?  

Well, in the interest of preserving my marriage, my official answer right now is "maybe".  However, I predict that by the time next November first rolls around, my fingers will once again be poised over the keyboard ready to type with reckless abandon for another 30 days…

Sarah LaFleur

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Thanks Sarah, that was a really interesting account of your NaNo experience - love the sticker chart idea! Getting ahead of yourself and something coming up to 'thwart' your advances sounds so familiar, even to me, an as yet non-NaNo writer. 

Check out more from Sarah Lafleur on her website, find her on Facebook, and on Twitter - how we connected initially! She's also got an author page on Amazon, so take a look!

More from me next week - keep writing!

Lou x

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Hi again, thanks for joining me on my writing blog! This week we have a special treat: a guest blog from Scottish writer Jayne Baldwin. Jayne is a published novelist and she's agreed to share with us her feelings about the question all writers dread the minute they're published...

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After a recent reading at a local library, I was asked what I was working on next. As the book I was reading from had not been officially launched, I had to take a deep breath and count to ten before pointing out that I still had this one to promote. I remember being asked the same question, quite frequently, after my first book was published four years ago. Of course it's wonderful that people are interested in what you're doing but, I think, only other writers really understand just what goes into researching, writing and promoting a book, whether it's fiction or, like my new book, non fiction. 

There are various points during the creation of a book when it's tempting to sit back and sigh in a satisfied way; after the first draft when you've managed to get all the research in place and perhaps again when the finished manuscript has gone off to the publisher or layout designer. In both cases you have to pinch yourself (perhaps punch would be better) because after the first draft there are endless edits to do, and if it's non fiction, illustrations to find, copyright to track down and permissions to sort out. Even when the book's finished there's no opportunity to sit back and admire it because then the promotion starts. This is the situation whether you're being published or, as is increasingly the case, self publishing. My first two books were published by a local company and I was absolutely thrilled when they said “yes” to my submission. But I soon discovered that the marketing department was virtually non-existent so as a journalist I found myself doing most of the work. My understanding, from writer friends, is that this is now increasingly the case even with large publishing houses, their budgets tightened and staff stretched.

A friend, who had been through a similar experience with a small publishing house, took the decision to set up her own company in order to produce the books she was writing. My new book, “Mary Timney: The Road to the Gallows”, has just been published under the imprint, Clayhole Publishing, which means that I had control over its production, will get the benefit from any sales and now need to get out there and promote it. 

Of course, this is the point where some writers panic. It's hard putting yourself ‘out there’ even if you know where ‘out there’ is. Readings, events and signings are an essential part of promotion if you want a book to sell on any scale, and for many people that's a difficult thing to do. Writing is a wonderful thing and many want to write simply for the pleasure of it, but if you want someone else to buy what you've written, you have to be prepared to sell it too. And you’ll still need to put up with questions like “what are you working on next?”, when you've only just finished a book that may have taken years to produce!

Jayne Baldwin

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Biography

Writer and journalist Jayne Baldwin lives in Galloway, south-west Scotland. Her new book, 'Mary Timney, The Road to the Gallows' published by Clayhole Publishing,  examines the tragic story behind The Glenkens Murder and the last public hanging of a woman in Scotland. She's also penned 'West Over the Waves, The Final Flight of Elsie Mackay' and 'The Belties of Curleywee Farm' both published by GC Books Ltd. 

Jayne is the Chair of Booktown Writers based in Wigtown, Scotland. She is also a director of the new children's publishing company Curly Tale Books Ltd. 

Find Jayne on Twitter and on Facebook. She's also got a great blog which you should definitely take a look at!  I particularly enjoyed Jayne's post on 'Writing (and reading) as therapy'.

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Thanks so much for blogging for me this week, Jayne - that's certainly a question I have been asked very often! Take a look at the Work in Progress (WIP) tab on the top of my website pages to see what I am working on just now...

See you next week!

Lou x

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What's Next image courtesy of Green Book Blog

This week I welcome guest blogger Janet E. Cameron. She's a Dublin based Canadian author who can happily put her name against her novel 'Cinnamon Toast And The End Of The World'. In this short piece Janet shares how she was inspired by a Japanese souvenir and how writing a book can be compared to having a baby. 

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Daruma’s Other Eye

By Janet E. Cameron

If you go to any Buddhist temple in Japan at New Year’s, you’ll find Daruma dolls for sale. These are round figurines, usually made of papier-maché, depicting a grumpy-looking bearded man cloaked in red and gold with no arms or legs. The reference is to a monk called Bodhidharma who, according to legend, sat facing a wall in meditation for nine years. ‘And then his legs fell off!’ is the gleeful note the story ends on.

The first thing you notice about these dolls is that the eyes are blank, just staring white circles. This is because Darumas are meant to be used in setting goals for the new year. You colour in one of the eyes when you make your promise to yourself. Then, when you’ve achieved it, you colour in the other eye. So rather than scrawling down your resolutions on a scrap of paper and forgetting them, you’ll have a half-blind Daruma reproaching you from your shelf until you get your act together. On the flip side, looking at a Daruma with both his eyes coloured in gives a lifting sense of achievement.

Or so I imagine.

I lived in Japan for four years, and for three of them my apartment overlooked Sensoji, one of the most famous Buddhist temples in the country. At the end of December 2004 the area around my place was packed with stalls selling decorations and good luck charms for the new year: pine boughs, oranges, straw wreaths, lobster figurines painted with gold, an awful lot of chicken effigies (2005 was the year of the Rooster). On New Year’s Eve, I hit the streets with my Irish boyfriend to take in the atmosphere. People lined up to pray at the shrine in their winter kimonos, bought charms and hot saké from the vendors, chatted with friends. I accepted a very nice proposal of marriage. Three months later my boyfriend and I got married at Ueno City Hall, and then we were on a plane heading for Ireland. Two Daruma dolls from Sensoji were in our suitcases. 

I put the Darumas on the mantelpiece of our first apartment in Dublin and we each coloured in one eye. My husband wished for a decent job in the city. A few months later he was able to fill in his Daruma’s blank eye. I wished for the same thing. And then I got it. But…

I couldn’t bring myself to colour in that white circle. This particular goal didn’t seem big enough. I didn’t deserve to have a fully sighted Daruma on the shelf, not yet. I needed something more. 

Years passed. I got accepted to a master’s programme, went back to school, graduated. I finished the novel I’d started in 2010, Cinnamon Toast and the End of the World. I got an agent. Cinnamon Toast was accepted for publication. I dusted the half-blind Daruma every few weeks. 

I promised myself that I’d fill in the little guy’s other eye when Cinnamon Toast was printed and in my hands. That day came and went. When I saw it in a store, then. That would be the right time. It’s in stores all over Dublin. Now I’m telling myself that I don’t deserve a fully sighted Daruma until I’m sure the book will actually sell. 

Jesus H. Christ! That poor disgruntled red monk’s been missing an eye for EIGHT YEARS! What is it going to take for me to admit that I’ve accomplished something?

The truth is, I am one of those incredibly annoying people who find it difficult to acknowledge good fortune, although complaining is effortless and can go on forever. You hear so much about failures and flops: books, movies, marketing campaigns, perfectly nice space-alien cults that just didn’t work out. Why tempt fate by colouring in that eye? 

Except that fate doesn’t particularly care about what I do with my Japanese souvenirs. Why would I assume that it does? I blame those positive thinking gurus. Keep repeating ‘I’m wealthy’ and the money will appear. We’ve all heard it. I’ve even been told, straight-faced, that this is a great way to find a parking space. And while I’ve always suspected that the idea is a bit daft, I suppose part of me believes in it. Fate, Santa Claus, the Universe…they can hear your thoughts and they know if you’re plotting something naughty or nice. And if the universe really is standing outside my door poised to reward me for whatever I’m mentally affirming, why wouldn’t it be just as ready to give me a boot up the arse for my smugness and pride?

But there’s another, simpler, reason why I’m hesitating to give poor Daruma-san both his eyes. I lived in Cinnamon Toast land for several years. I rewrote and edited until I could practically stand up and recite the entire thing from memory. I know these characters better than I know my friends and family. It’s possible that I don’t want to say goodbye, and admitting that this task is finished would be doing just that. 

What am I doing instead? A lot of lurking. A lot of skulking. Checking the book’s stats obsessively online. Creeping into bookstores on my lunchbreak to spy on its progress. Worrying. Nail-biting. Rocking back and forth and hissing ‘my precious’ a lot. But this is normal, right? No, probably not. And it’s certainly not helping. 

I’ve heard people compare writing a book to giving birth to a baby. Yes, maybe. It is messy and painful and debilitating, and just about impossible to accomplish on your own. So sending your book to the marketplace must be like waving it goodbye on its first day of school. You can pack your kid’s lunch in the morning, walk her to the bus stop, help with homework, attend all the parent-teacher meetings. But you can’t follow her into the classroom and control what happens there. It’s out of your hands.

And, though I’m willing to do anything short of eating bugs on Youtube to sell this book, to a large extent it’s out of my hands as well. The story belongs to anyone who decides to read it now, and they can like it, hate it, or remain indifferent as they please. 

So, on this St Patrick’s Day, I’ll say, ‘Thank you, Ireland for giving me a place to write and a publisher for my story.’ And I’ll take my trusty marker and fill in that missing Daruma eye. In fact, I’m going to do it right now. 

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Thanks Janet - I loved the line 'The story belongs to anyone who decides to read it now'. All the best with your writing. 

Check out Jan's website at A Simple Jan or find her on Twitter. See you next week y'all, when I'll be showing you how even I can have a successful author photo shoot - and so can you!

Lou x

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Today, 21st March is World Poetry Day. Every year on this date (since 1999) UNESCO celebrates poems and poets and I've joined forces with a writer local to me to bring you new material to celebrate in poetic style. GK Kingsley, a Northamptonshire poet, has entered the spirit of World Poetry Day by penning a something especially to celebrate today.

According to GK Kingsley, her quest is "to sow seeds that make people think about their lives, with bite size bits of poetry that are accessible to all. Some are humorous, some are thought provoking. But either way, it’s never a long haul trawl through my stuff.”

This poet has a following from around the world, from Australia to Hawaii to Alaska. She publishes a new poem three times a week on her website. I really like 'Double Trouble' and 'Make Life A Breeze', two show pieces beautifully displayed - not just lines of text!

Entitled ‘Love’, this specially written poem seeks to understand that most universal of ideas that touches all of our lives.  Enjoy. 

Thanks GK - great to collaborate with you, and I wish you a happy World Poetry Day!

See more from GK Kingsley:

Website:  www.gkkingsley.com                       Pinterest: gkkingsley

Email: gk@gkkingsley.com                              Twitter: @gkkingsley

Facebook: gk.kingsley

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Tomorrow I'll be posting my regular weekly writing blog - this one was a bonus to celebrate World Poetry Day, you lucky things!

Lou x

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Images from GK Kingsley's website and Off Timetable

PEN International is a leading cultural and advocacy organisation which celebrates literature and promotes freedom of expression. Founded in 1921, our global community of writers now comprises 144 Centres spanning more than 100 countries. 

• Eskinder Nega (Ethiopia): journalist and blogger convicted to 18 years in prison on dubious terrorism related charges, clearly levied as punishment for his reporting on government human rights abuses.
Marian Botsford Fraser, Chair of the WiPC, is in Istanbul this week with a high level delegation of 20 people from nine centres, joining colleagues in PEN Turkey in readings of poetry and prose honouring writers at risk around the world.

“We’re here to signal the great concern of PEN members around the world about the extraordinarily high number of writers, journalists and publishers who are either in prison, in detention awaiting trial, or suffering daily fear of being arrested,” said Botsford Fraser. “Turkey’s progress towards democracy must include true freedom of speech for its citizens.”

Writers in Turkey, as in many countries around the world, notably Iran, China and Bahrain, are facing new violations to their freedom of expression on the Internet, including the illegal interference of governments in the transmission of opinion, news and ideas. On 18th November, PEN International hosted two panel discussions at the Istanbul Book Fair addressesing the issue of freedom of expression and digital media and discussing PEN’s new Declaration on Digital Freedom.

“More than two-thirds of the people on the current WiPC case list have been targeted because of things they have said in blogs, tweets, and on websites,” said Botsford Fraser. “PEN’s new Declaration on Digital Freedom will be invaluable in our defence of writers at risk.”

Alongside the events in Turkey, dozens of PEN Centres hosted events, readings, film screenings and more, remembering colleagues at risk around the world.

For more information on centre activities click here.
For more information on PEN International delegation to Turkey click here.

For information and press enquiries please contact Sahar Halaimzai:
E: Sahar.halaimzai@pen-international.org | + 44 (0) 20 7405 0338.
Or contact Sara Whyatt| E: Sara.whyatt@pen-international .org

                                                     - - - - - - -

Food for thought, thoughts for actions. See you next week. 

Lou x

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Good to see you again! I have had some comments recently to say my blog readers would like to see more of my short stories, so here I am, obliging as ever!

This is a story I wrote in 2009. I've re-written it to improve the style and vocabulary I'd used. It was interesting seeing the different structure and words I was using, even from just 3 years ago. Hope you enjoy this quick read - it's just over 1700 words long. 


As with all my short stories, this is complete fiction! Anyone who knows my family will understand... we're 4 of us pilots!

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Bowing Out Gracefully

A tired, middle-aged man is in his bedroom, hanging up his uniform. He is starting his evening routine, whiskey in hand, and is dressed in casual wear. The bedroom is decorated in neutral colours but it’s cosy and modern.

It’s not like I wanted to retire early, it’s just the way it is. Like I told the boys at the Nag’s Head, I loved my job. However, it’s standard policy of Air International that when a commercial pilot like myself reaches a certain age, they have to hang up their uniforms. Hand back the standard issue briefcase and the intricately embroidered necktie. We need to return the hat - along with the status that comes with it. The very cheek! Well they did ask me to leave quietly so…

I have discovered, however, that the bosses generously let you keep the epaulettes as a souvenir for your life’s work. Well, that’s if you can call 30 years a life. Life doesn’t always mean life, we all know that. Funny that…

Patrick the Pilot, stepping down after 31 years. Yep, 31 years in the same job. I’ve flown so many places, every destination my aircraft flies to in fact. Dubai, Rio, Sydney… I’ve always preferred long-haul trips, exploring the world for a night or two, with a different crew every time. It’s a very sociable job. Sociable, yes, but with a high turnover of colleagues, who become disposable friends. We rarely fly with the same company. Sinatra’s “Come fly with me” has never been more appropriate a song choice I suppose. It’s a bonus never having to bring work home with you either.

Leaving A.I. Madness even to imagine it! I think I could still have managed to fly a few more miles yet, had the circumstances been different. The bosses are too strict sometimes in my opinion. Odd policies, enforced by ridiculously over-paid and old fashioned Directors.

It seems ironic that my only son is starting a sprint in the Rat Race just as I am flying through the finishing line. He’s a qualified architect at 22 years of age. Recently graduated from Sheffield School of Architecture, Sam’s incredible love and admiration of the construction of bridges and buildings worldwide has finally come of age. When Sam started school, my wife and I owned a house with a full view of Frogmore Viaduct, deep in the Buckinghamshire countryside. It must have caught his imagination from early years, I suppose.

I often used to snoop round the door of my son’s bedroom when I came home from a trip to catch him dreaming out the window, gazing in awe at the magnificent piece of engineering looming in the distance. A career in the making, I suppose. Back then, I commuted to Heathrow (not far when it’s only once or twice a week), and the wife worked part-time in a charity shop in town. Hah, she enjoyed the kudos from that, working for charity. She should be more charitable to me sometimes! I wonder if she’s talking to me again yet…? She certainly wasn’t happy with the news I wasn’t to be bringing in the bacon in the same way or quantity any longer. Plus, hanging around the house won’t be an option – we’d end up killing each other!

Sam developed a passion much like I did, I now realise. My obsession with planes and overseas travel no doubt came from my childhood too. My father would point out the man-made birds in the sky from a vantage point on The Downs, from the back garden on a sunny day, or he’d sit with me at an airport for hours before our holiday began. We wondered where their next destination would be, watching them create the straightest lines across the sky with their jet streams. Sometimes, just sometimes…

Well, that’s all in the past now anyhow. I remember the father of the golfer Tiger Woods’s explaining once on TV that “you gotta spark their interest from an early a­­­ge”. It obviously works that way in flying, architecture and sport alike. Anyway, I digress.

Many men I know relish the thought of retirement, some even wishing for an early arrival of that day. Well, why not? ‘No more working for The Man! We can book that month’s cruise holiday we’ve always dreamed of!’ However, leaving work is a daunting, and potentially boring prospect to me, which screams “Granddad!” louder than any jet engine ever hummed in my direction. True, for many people it will mean having more time to spend with the grandchildren. Our Sam hasn’t brought anything to the table in that respect yet, and I hope, I assume, we’re not likely to see any related events any time soon. Sam tells me he’s too busy for a girlfriend and too broke to take a wife. See, it’s just not the right moment for me to retire. He’s not ready. She’s not ready. I’m not ready. Life will be so different…

My wife is getting broody though, I warn my son. I can see it in her eyes that she’s anticipating the arrival of a third generation to our family. More obvious signs are developing too. Last weekend, I caught her cradling a melon in her arms as she gossiped on the phone to a friend – unconsciously, I hope, else we have bigger problems here than a broody middle-aged housewife! The label of “Nan” can’t come soon enough for her. Expanding families. ‘That’s what real retired folk live for,’ she says.

Eurgh, “folk”. I hate that word, so old fashioned, and I’m getting older by the minute. Every day I am reminded that I have more than a touch of bad eyesight. Oh, incidentally, that eye test still hasn’t been booked, remind me…

Old age – it looms in front of us all. Associated symptoms aren’t something you want in a trans-Atlantic Captain, cruising a jumbo jet packed with hundreds of holiday makers at 37,000 feet. I’d argue that I’m healthier than most of my counterparts though. A couple of rounds of golf a week keep me in check, and I haven’t had a problem passing the compulsory medicals the flight staff are subjected to annually.

Semi-retirement doesn’t seem to be common practice for pilots of commercial airlines, whatever the circumstances of their departure. Retirement, a career change, redundancy – we all leave at some point. We’re expected to bow out gracefully when the big day arrives.

Some retired pilots re-train to become instructors, although I think A.I. might have had enough of me by now to bother keeping me on the books. But you never know… I think not! You’d never catch me crawling back in that way! Slam the door behind me, they have! I personally can’t imagine doing anything but flying. I was born to do it, as much as you can be without having your own set of feathers.

Of course, I have the company’s ‘full support’ now I’m planning to withdraw my pension, early as it is… I’ve heard a rumour that there’s a leaflet advising you on how to return to a grounded civilian lifestyle, cold-turkey. It’s common practice to ‘celebrate’ your retirement flight, making it a little special as your last trip as a professional air man. Balloons onboard, announcements over the PA to the 300 odd unsuspecting passengers, and dinner and drinks are on your cabin crew when you get down route. Hah, as if!

However, I didn’t have the opportunity to choose my final destination as any other long-standing Captain does on his final flight. Had my departure come at the normal retirement age, I would have been debating in only a year’s time between
a final destination of Cape Town for the wine and the golf, or possibly Buenos Aires for the wine and entertainment. What better excuse to have a good’un at the expense of the company?

What would a man of leisure do then now? Apart from the inevitable increased number of days spent on the golf course (and I do make a bolt for it some mornings, before she’s up), I see it as an expanse of time slowly unfolding to the unavoidable end. It could mean 30 years or more, gradual moves towards becoming a grumpy old man, akin to Victor Meldrew, avoiding my wife more and more in the evenings by joining other men who enjoy a quiet pint away from their families. This role with Air Flight International has more than satisfied my need to be entertained, and my love of travelling around the world. What better way to experience what the world has to offer? I could have had more of it all had I been more careful…

Perhaps our savings should be poured into a perpetual holiday for my wife and I? A detox of sorts. Surely though, we’d get bored after a while of even the whitest, most sandy beaches and a glutton of global historical sights? 

But being a pilot is who I am. How can they take it from me? I’ll certainly miss the freedom, the good times… It’s more than how I earn my pennies, and how I keep my wife in Radley’s designer handbags. She can’t deny she loved the job as much as I did – a good salary and I wasn’t home half the time. Perfect! Being a pilot’s a large chunk of my identity and a great conversation piece. Friends and strangers alike ask me about it at dinner parties. Granted, it’s a more interesting vocation than what most others settle with. Where I’ve been, what I’ve seen… The stories just pour out after a couple of glasses of Chardonnay!

Perhaps I’m looking at an early ‘retired’ life in the wrong way. Perhaps it could become a blessing. Yes, I’ll miss the job, but I will need to keep busy. I’d only end up driving my wife further round the bend otherwise. Maybe the break would be nice. It might be turn out to be more welcomed that I realise. Maybe I could become more regular at the Nag’s quiz night. Why stop there?! Maybe this is the opportunity I needed to reinvent myself, to improve my image. Nothing too drastic, I don’t want a complete overhaul, hair implants and a new set of teeth and all, but maybe a ‘lifestyle makeover’ I guess they’d call it on reality TV. It’ll probably be healthier too, what I need… My unravelling situation has been a little wake-up call for me, really. 

Perhaps this could be a new beginning. A drink to the future! We’ll need a top up, waiter, but the shop will have some down the road. Drink driving ain’t so bad – not as bad as society deems ‘drink flying’ anyway!


Lou x

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Photos courtesy of ExpertFlyer.com and IndustryLeadersMagazine.com