​It’s perhaps a bigger challenge on some days/weeks than others, but listening to your body, respecting yourself and your boundaries, and sometimes just forgiving yourself can help you ‘have your own back’.  

Here are ten ways you can foster a greater self-love for yourself – you’re worth it!

1. Protect your ‘you’ time – speaking as a mum of a toddler, this comes from the heart! I try to make sure I do something for my own pleasure each day, like baking, finishing my book, having a really long walk…
2. Don’t believe everything you think. A self-help Lifehack website says “There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.”
3. Celebrate the small wins. When the last year or two has made it difficult to get together with folks we would celebrate with, find a little reason to do so at home on a smaller scale. 
4. Nourish yourself – your body and mind will have a better chance if you fuel it with good nutritious food and lots of water.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others. Period.
6. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you – this includes ending toxic relationships. This is difficult, but you’ll feel so much free-er afterwards!
7. Allow yourself to make mistakes. We all make them, so remember that sometimes learning from them can help you move forward.
8. Don’t place your value on how you look. A ‘good hair day’ is a wonderful thing, and a toned body is great, but you are so much more than good legs!
9. Forgive yourself. If you’re ashamed or feeling guilty about something, perhaps try to make amends and let it go.
10. Don’t worry too much about what other people think. Trying to do what society expects or trying to please everyone all the time is exhausting and impossible!

 

​Finally, I find it helpful to imagine I am a friend of mine listening to how I don’t feel so great about who I am or how I feel – how would they react? What would they say or do?
 
Have a wonderful November and take care, 

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist

This website will count how many time you've typed EVERY word in your essay, story, poem... whatever you've written. My outcome 'Scrabble Pieces', my 'work in progress', was kinda boring at the top of the word list, but as I got down to the words used less than 10 times it became a much more eloquent list! 

The nerd in me loved this. 

I won't be making any changes given my top 12, but it did make me consider more about which words I choose to use. Interestingly though, my two protagonists (female twins) are  6 spots apart from each other, Rachel having her name 40% more.

If you're writing something at the moment I thoroughly recommend having a play with this tool. You only need ot paste your text body into the text box on the website and it's analysed instantly. 

Lou x

​Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born To Be A Tourist

Four Podcasts Which Could Boost Your Mental Wellbeing
​
I admit, I was late to the whole ‘listening to podcasts’ thing and struggled to find ones I liked for a long time. However, I have found some awesome wellbeing podcasts, and I’m sharing in the hope that someone reading this finds a gem too.
​

1. The Therapy Edit – my favourite of what I’ve found in recent months, not least because it’s only 10-20 mins long. My stamina for podcast listening is quite short, but this one ran through Lockdown (1) and is still available. So helpful and I always feel better after listening to Anna Mathur, who is ‘taking therapy out of the therapy room.’

 

1. The Happiness Lab – a relatively long listen on Spotify, but I find breaking it up using the advert breaks useful. The most recent episode I’ve tuned into was ‘For whom the alarm clock tolls’ – appealed to both my sleep loving and Metallica loving self! – and was really insightful about ‘time confetti’. I really have this concept featuring daily in my life and had no idea! #workinprogress
   
   
2. Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place – another Spotify gem, even if you don’t know exactly who the celebrity guests are. A really wide, honest spectrum of experiences, and often an eye-opener. From Tom Daley to Joe Wicks, Dawn French to Tom Kerridge, learn what makes these celebs happy and maybe pick up some tips yourself.
   
   
3. Finally, the Mindful Mix on BBC Sounds. This is a classical, calming mix tape, and it really takes the pressure off trying to think of relaxing classical music to chill out to.
   
   

Enjoy!

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist

Our dining room isn't even that cluttered really, but I hadn't seen this draft, this precious gem for months. I remember writing a few words in the last couple of days before I had a baby, but it was so uncomfortable to sit down for long I didn't manage much. And that was over 18 months ago. I think I've been hiding from my manuscript. 

Unfinished. Ignored. You can hardly call that a 'work in progress'! 

Sure, I'm busy, who isn't. Even in lockdown. I have a baby, a dog, hobbies like cycling, reading and travelling, a part time job, my baking business 280 Bakes, and a (Covid limited) social life. But I am a firm believer in if you want to get it done, you'll find the time. 

I am getting better at finding a few minutes for myself, as my baby has got a bit older. Around 7pm is prime 'me time' as El Husbandio often calls his parents and plays on video call with Rox. I mostly use this time to have a shower and potter about upstairs for around half an hour, maybe paint my toenails or unwind to a podcast... but I think I will try to make that time a time to write. A shower can wait until Rox is in bed.

What do you reckon, 500 words in 20-30 mins, that's do-able right?! The main bones are there on the page; I have a structure, a great into, a satisfying end, the bulk of the story... It's just the dreaded 'middle part' I need to flesh out. The book is called 'Scrabble Pieces' at the moment, but I am sure I can come up with a better title than that, even sat here today. One small step at a time. 

​Instead of blogging I should write my book!!!

Maybe this should be my new year's resolution for 2021. I'm not big into them normally, but sometimes you have to have something to drive you along! Who knows, this time next year I may have another book under my belt...

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
..and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist

A friend of mine is running an anthology submission competition and she asked me to contribute. It was on a subject I'd not normally write about - sex - and, being a personal story, I chose to write in disguise under a different name. Initial feedback on my honest piece is more than encouraging, so I hope it makes the final cut of the book. 

​How did I choose my (secret!) pen name? I could have used a pen name generator, but that's so impersonal, I think. I still wanted to hang onto a bit of me, even if I was in disguise.

There is a former footballer with a sexy, strong sounding last name, so I pinched that. I think my married and maiden names were both strong, so that was pretty important to me. I always thought Louise XXXX sounded good, so I've kept my first name featured in my pen name, just changing the surname. It still feels a bit like me that way.  

Other ideas I had: 

1. Something inspired by a favourite film or actor of mine... Perhaps Louise Trinity (The Matrix), L Miller (We're The Millers), Louise Everdeen in homage to the awesome Jennifer Lawrence in Hunger Games...

2. I'm a country music fan so Louise Cash, Osbourne, Rogers or Swift? 

3. My favourite book for a long time was Rebecca ~ Daphne Du Maurier - I'm not so keen on Daphne but Rebecca  could have worked as a first name. 

4. Maps have always been fascinating to me - a true geographer! - so I considered incorporating something from my local area. The area of Bristol I'm currently living in is called Lawrence Weston, but that would make me a man. A step too far for a disguise??

5. Wildlife inspired - how about using Lark, Wren, Daisy, or Poppy as a first name? I did quite warm to Lark, being another strong sounding name, but I'm not sure how plausible that is, not having known of anyone named that. 

How would you go about choosing a pen name?

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist

Night all,

Lou x

I used to be a prolific writer. I was writing monthly for a magazine (around 2010,, for a couple of years), I blogged at least weekly here and on my travel blog, and I participated in group and online writing challenges. I had (have!) a great idea for a work in progress, and I loved every minute of penning an idea and creating a story.

So why did I stop?

I guess that's a little unfair. I haven't stopped writing for fun/enterprise entirely. I still blog weekly for my baking business 280 Bakes and it's going great guns. However, the last post (aside from two in early March when I panicked and got keen again for a day) on my Born to be a Tourist travel blog was exactly a year ago, and on here, my poor writing/lifestyle blog has been severely neglected. The last post here was posted in May last year. Call myself a writer??

Well, actually I don't think I do call myself a writer any more.

I write. I do. I use my skills in writing all the time: I write emails every day, to people as diverse as my Grandma (catching up) to the Lord Mayor of Bristol (a VIP event invite for 280 Bakes), I write reports, minutes, emails in my 'day job' in an office in Bristol... I was praised yesterday, in fact, for my easy style of writing - which prompted this post.  Unfortunately though, it's just writing a shopping list that's missing from the list of things I seriously sit down and write. I just don't do creative writing much nowadays.

And it's not like I cut back consciously. It happened gradually perhaps, and time flew by; suddenly it had been months and years since I'd worked on anything bigger than a 500 word blog about cake.

I think my writing time was diminished for a number of reasons:

a) Life got busy. Busier. Married, a (new) full time job and a business to run on the side, a pup, living in a new town with things to discover, more financial responsibilities... all these things take up time, no matter how pleased I might be to welcome them into my life.

b) Moving from Northamptonshire, I left behind me an awesome writing group which I Chaired. The group was such an inspiration, and the discipline of having to write a short story or selection of poems each month was a real driver for creativity. The group is still going, I hear, I still miss it.

c) I think, honestly, I've moved on a little from writing, too. I felt a bit guilty about this for a while, and I have no idea why. It's not like I was letting down millions of fans. A few thousand followed me on the blogs, but I am sure no one cried. I was fully aware I was never going to get rich writing, but was keen at one stage to see my skills and portfolio develop professionally. Now, I guess, I have other interests, but should use writing more as a hobby or an outlet more.

d) I went through some dark times - anxiety and depression doesn't encourage creativity, but with hindsight, it could have helped. At the time though, I couldn't face writing anything with concentration levels on the floor and low self-esteem. No one wanted to hear from me, I was sure, and I didn't really want to get stuck in writing negatively centred things.

However, there's hope. The fact I'm writing this post is a positive sign. Hey, life is always busy - it's about making time for what you want to do, your priorities. I've not found a writing group in Bristol which works for me, and I don't know if I'm that enthused about going along, really, now. And you know what, it's ok if writing isn't a priority for me now. It's just there, hovering in the background, something I can dip into as and when. Moving on isn't a bad thing, in many aspects of life, but I know I can always go back to it. Life has taught me a lot in the last few years, and I'm sure there's something I could say, especially now I'm much-improved mentally. Still working on it every day, but much mended.

I have 39 unfinished drafts for Miss Write and many more for Born to be a Tourist. Maybe I'll have a crack this weekend. A long, potentially wet weather Easter weekend is a perfect excuse for some inner expression. Watch this space - but don't hold your breath.

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter

After a long silence, I've turned my hand back to writing a little this month, and I've landed an article in Harboured magazine! It's a new magazine in Bristol (where I'm living), and I'm pretty excited about it. 

Not only am I back writing seriously again, I've posted on my blog for the first time in seven months because of it, and, the best bit is the article is about my baking business, 280 Bakes. 

Take a look - Five Places To Eat Cake can be found online here. 

Stay tuned for more - I hear this writing lark is addictive!

​Lou x

​Today I Told Her

Today I told her. 
 
This evening I told my wife a secret.
A year of marital bliss fell from my lips and crashed into foetal positioned dreams around our feet.
 
“How about Annie for a girl?”
 
I could hold back no longer.
I had to speak.
 
She shook off a long blinked. I could feel our hearts sinking together, yet I was convinced.
 
“What do you mean?”
 
I repeated the loaded phrase, more than words.
 
“How… what...? When did you decide this?”
 
Eight months into our marriage I found myself wishing for nothing more.
 
“Are you sick?”
 
No. I wanted no children – she was enough, my love entirely hers.

Lou x
Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist

When the world is eating, singing, celebrating
Tuning into the news can be grating.
Refugees and war are not on theme
But such stories continue to be seen.
 
Christmas is a time of giving
These conflicting images conflicting,
Dominating the current issues
Causing some to reach for tissues.
 
Christmas comes and soon it goes
Resolutions and sometimes snows
Normal life resumes at speed
Drifting away from those in need.
 
Little keeps stark images in your mind
Lasting past the fleeting appeals of kind.
Yet Christmas is a time for thinking of others
From neighbours to global sisters and brothers
 
Remembering the much less fortunates
While we gorge on roasted chestnuts.
Carry these thoughts of injustice and pain
Through January and into the main
 
And spare more than a thought in Christmas cheer
For those children, people, who wish to be here.
Pick out the easy wins, that’s a good start
A tin in the charity box from your shopping cart.
 
Contact your MP for changes in acts
Facebook and Twitter are tools of attacks
Check local press for news of the worthy
Helping those lives topsy-turvy.
 
Monthly donations to your chosen cause
And doing it all for no applause.
So when you pause to think of the many
Who have no food, no home or penny
 
Take it forward from Christmastime
And prove there’s a reason for my rhyme.

Lou x

Find me on Facebook
...and on Twitter
Born to be a Tourist