A couple of weeks ago my friend Paul posted an emotions checklist on his wellbeing blog, demonstrating there is potentially/often a lot going on underneath than just being 'alright', his default answer when someone enquires how he is.

His article really struck a chord with me, so I printed off the list of emotions he referred to.

The day in question was a normal kinda day; nothing amazingly impressive, exciting, good or bad happened, just a day in the life. 

​Before I went to bed that night, I grabbed a pen and checked off the emotions on that list I could remember I'd felt during the day. 

And I was surprised. Even with my now fairly self-aware state (compared to a year or two ago), I was experiencing emotions I had never thought were in my collection, much less would I have been able to articulate that was actually what I was feeling, if asked. Just wish I'd done this when I was a teenager - would have helped with the cacophony of stress I experienced then, I think. 

I can remember the feeling of others on the list which didn't feature that day, and it's funny the response my body gives when considering them. Some of them I feel in my head, occasionally behind my eyes (like a tiredness), most manifest in my chest. That goes for the good and the bad. 

​It was also sort of nice to think, hey, there's one or two on there that I don't recall having felt before. Spiteful, I am pleased to say, is one of them. However, there are a few on there I would happily never feel again: Powerless, bitter, guilty, rejected....

Emotions are a complex thing. Small things, big things or nothing things can kick them off. I have a theory that waking up in a bad mood could be because you've had a stressful or sad dream. Often you have no control, like many things in life, over when they pop up or how you feel at certain times, but you can attempt to control the way you react to things when they happen. 

​  - Look for the blue sky - no unnecessary complaining, wear that smile!

  - Self-care (physically, mentally, emotionally - all) should be high on your priority list. Look after no.1.

  - Give yourself a break. 

​  - Remember all emotions are a natural response - just because you feel a little more inclined to one than another, it doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It only becomes negative when it dominates. 

  - Keep breathing. 

​Enjoy your weekend and enjoy some emotion-spotting - one kind of labelling I think is actually good for you. 

Lou x
​

This is an old, old photo. My baking and decorating skills have been much improved, but this is still great book/cake blog fodder, so indulge me!

​During 2010-12 I chaired a writing group in Towcester, Northants, and became really involved with all things books in the town library, where we would meet each month. World Book Night came along, and I baked for the event.

​Can you guess which books these are based on? Probably not, haha, they're not very well done with hindsight, but hey, it was a lot of fun. Answers below this photo, if you're interested.... 

​FYI - World Book Night is on 23rd April - get involved!

Answers: The ugly, blobby cupcakes are based on the idea of Small Island - Andrea Levy. The cake with 'Room' written on it is about, you guessed it, the fab novel Room by ​Emma Donoghue. My piping skills have improved somewhat since then!

​Cake amateur-ness aside, both books are a great read, in my top 10, I think. I'd definitely recommend them if you haven't already had the pleasure.

​If you want to see some of the more impressive and professional cakes I now make, take a look at my company website: 280 Bakes.

Lou x 

My Baking Addiction: by Jamie, who self-certifies herself as someone who bakes too much. I love it!

The Environment Agency has a great blog, for scientifically minded people and those who are not so - always hot on subjects affecting the UK's environment and beyond.

A new find: A Cranky Flier. Brett, the blogger, writes regular posts sharing his three favourite links to travel news on the web - among other great content.

A dear friend and past colleague of mine writes a fab mental health blog. Take a look at WYSE THOUGHTS, and say hi to Paul.

Gray (with an 'a') Matter has some great stories, always something interesting to read and learn here. A recent favourite of mine was the post on beautiful metro stations you can find across the planet.

Huffington Post has a Good News blog - brings warm feelings from around the world.

Let me know if I've missed your favourite!

Lou x

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I used to be a prolific writer. I was writing monthly for a magazine (around 2010,, for a couple of years), I blogged at least weekly here and on my travel blog, and I participated in group and online writing challenges. I had (have!) a great idea for a work in progress, and I loved every minute of penning an idea and creating a story.

So why did I stop?

I guess that's a little unfair. I haven't stopped writing for fun/enterprise entirely. I still blog weekly for my baking business 280 Bakes and it's going great guns. However, the last post (aside from two in early March when I panicked and got keen again for a day) on my Born to be a Tourist travel blog was exactly a year ago, and on here, my poor writing/lifestyle blog has been severely neglected. The last post here was posted in May last year. Call myself a writer??

Well, actually I don't think I do call myself a writer any more.

I write. I do. I use my skills in writing all the time: I write emails every day, to people as diverse as my Grandma (catching up) to the Lord Mayor of Bristol (a VIP event invite for 280 Bakes), I write reports, minutes, emails in my 'day job' in an office in Bristol... I was praised yesterday, in fact, for my easy style of writing - which prompted this post.  Unfortunately though, it's just writing a shopping list that's missing from the list of things I seriously sit down and write. I just don't do creative writing much nowadays.

And it's not like I cut back consciously. It happened gradually perhaps, and time flew by; suddenly it had been months and years since I'd worked on anything bigger than a 500 word blog about cake.

I think my writing time was diminished for a number of reasons:

a) Life got busy. Busier. Married, a (new) full time job and a business to run on the side, a pup, living in a new town with things to discover, more financial responsibilities... all these things take up time, no matter how pleased I might be to welcome them into my life.

b) Moving from Northamptonshire, I left behind me an awesome writing group which I Chaired. The group was such an inspiration, and the discipline of having to write a short story or selection of poems each month was a real driver for creativity. The group is still going, I hear, I still miss it.

c) I think, honestly, I've moved on a little from writing, too. I felt a bit guilty about this for a while, and I have no idea why. It's not like I was letting down millions of fans. A few thousand followed me on the blogs, but I am sure no one cried. I was fully aware I was never going to get rich writing, but was keen at one stage to see my skills and portfolio develop professionally. Now, I guess, I have other interests, but should use writing more as a hobby or an outlet more.

d) I went through some dark times - anxiety and depression doesn't encourage creativity, but with hindsight, it could have helped. At the time though, I couldn't face writing anything with concentration levels on the floor and low self-esteem. No one wanted to hear from me, I was sure, and I didn't really want to get stuck in writing negatively centred things.

However, there's hope. The fact I'm writing this post is a positive sign. Hey, life is always busy - it's about making time for what you want to do, your priorities. I've not found a writing group in Bristol which works for me, and I don't know if I'm that enthused about going along, really, now. And you know what, it's ok if writing isn't a priority for me now. It's just there, hovering in the background, something I can dip into as and when. Moving on isn't a bad thing, in many aspects of life, but I know I can always go back to it. Life has taught me a lot in the last few years, and I'm sure there's something I could say, especially now I'm much-improved mentally. Still working on it every day, but much mended.

I have 39 unfinished drafts for Miss Write and many more for Born to be a Tourist. Maybe I'll have a crack this weekend. A long, potentially wet weather Easter weekend is a perfect excuse for some inner expression. Watch this space - but don't hold your breath.

Lou x

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3. A full cutlery drawer. This means the dishwasher (if I’m at my parents’ place) is empty – putting the clean stuff away is not a job I enjoy! – or the dishes have been done at home. Yay, thanks husband! We have a lot of cutlery, so we can go a while without washing it, but it’s nice to see a full complement of utensils. A happy kitchen!

4. Paying off bills. I hate having debt, so a clean credit card statement and no bills due is a good thing. Boring, but good in the long-run. 

5. Family parties – of all kinds, for all ages. Family has become more and more important to me over the last 5-10 years. We had 4 family members pass away between 2009 and 2013 and it’s no surprise that it’s brought one or two of our relatives closer to my immediate family. Some family relationships could of course be better (the clue is in the word ‘family’!), but family remains key. 

6. Pay day – never really lame, but I think I have more interesting things to spend it on, day by day. It's not a huge salary, but it beats getting £4.25 / hour as a 14 year old Saturday girl! I am always grateful to have a job, and one I enjoy at that, let alone one which allows me to live / travel / save. 

7. Keeping fit and controlling what I eat. I wasn’t a fan of PE at school and it took me a while to find my niche in sport (classes!) but now I love the feeling being fit and having a slimmer figure gives me. *** UPDATE I've lost 4kg since I wrote this originally! ***

8. Having friends who are old enough to be your (grand)parents – good mates don’t mind an age gap.

9. Reading (especially paperbacks!) – ebooks are not for me – I’ve read three and much prefer paperbacks. Reading has always been in my life and I’m loving the fact it’s an acceptable and longed for way to spend the evening among a lot of my peers. It wasn’t cool when I was a kid, but it sure is almost a treat now!

10. A full tank of petrol. My car almost feels more alive when it's wangled a fresh £40 out of me!

​Today I Told Her

Today I told her. 
 
This evening I told my wife a secret.
A year of marital bliss fell from my lips and crashed into foetal positioned dreams around our feet.
 
“How about Annie for a girl?”
 
I could hold back no longer.
I had to speak.
 
She shook off a long blinked. I could feel our hearts sinking together, yet I was convinced.
 
“What do you mean?”
 
I repeated the loaded phrase, more than words.
 
“How… what...? When did you decide this?”
 
Eight months into our marriage I found myself wishing for nothing more.
 
“Are you sick?”
 
No. I wanted no children – she was enough, my love entirely hers.

Lou x
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Born to be a Tourist

When the world is eating, singing, celebrating
Tuning into the news can be grating.
Refugees and war are not on theme
But such stories continue to be seen.
 
Christmas is a time of giving
These conflicting images conflicting,
Dominating the current issues
Causing some to reach for tissues.
 
Christmas comes and soon it goes
Resolutions and sometimes snows
Normal life resumes at speed
Drifting away from those in need.
 
Little keeps stark images in your mind
Lasting past the fleeting appeals of kind.
Yet Christmas is a time for thinking of others
From neighbours to global sisters and brothers
 
Remembering the much less fortunates
While we gorge on roasted chestnuts.
Carry these thoughts of injustice and pain
Through January and into the main
 
And spare more than a thought in Christmas cheer
For those children, people, who wish to be here.
Pick out the easy wins, that’s a good start
A tin in the charity box from your shopping cart.
 
Contact your MP for changes in acts
Facebook and Twitter are tools of attacks
Check local press for news of the worthy
Helping those lives topsy-turvy.
 
Monthly donations to your chosen cause
And doing it all for no applause.
So when you pause to think of the many
Who have no food, no home or penny
 
Take it forward from Christmastime
And prove there’s a reason for my rhyme.

Lou x

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Born to be a Tourist

 Christmas shoppers are back at Cribbs Causeway, two minutes from where I work . The schools are starting to go on holiday so the kids are flooding in to see Star Wars at the nearby cinema. Work 'do's are filling restaurants around the retail parks. 

The other evening it took me 25 mins to get to the M5 junction on my way home, when it normally takes 5 mins. 

Congestion is Bristol is getting to a limit I am not enjoying, so what do I suggest? I am no transport planner, but I do drive and I live in Bristol, so here's my two penny's worth. 

​
Work with local businesses

Congestion is worst at either end of the working day. Creating safe cycle storage and changing facilities at offices helps to reduce congestion – as does allowing for home working and staggered start and finish times. In Nottingham a workplace levy for businesses with lots of parking spaces has generated much-needed cash to fund alternatives and will help reduce traffic.

Introduce a congestion charge

London's congestion charge was implemented in 2003 and has been a success, reducing traffic volumes by just over 10%. 

Sort out the buses

The routes, certainly in Bristol, can be fragmented and illogical. Established hubs are not used as well as they could be, and there may be a case for large scale re-routing to make rides more efficient and cover more areas. One friend of mine takes 90 mins to get to work (on a good day), and he lives in Bristol. I used to commute from Swindon and it only took me 55 mins. That's not right!!

Open up old train lines

I would LOVE to go to work on the train - extra napping/reading/writing...working time, and no angry drivers. So many areas in Bristol are way off the train lines which currently exist, with many others closed and forgotten. I'd certainly use the Henbury station if it reopened! And surely Cribbs Causeway could do with something train-like, closer than Patchway...?

Give away free helmets and bike locks

One of the things that might put people off cycling and therefore remain driving is the cost of a helmet and a lock to secure their bike. The two together could cost upwards of £45 and can be quite an investment. However, both items are essential for riding, so funding free helmets and locks may act as a good incentive. 

Promote bus apps more

There are some great techy options to help you plan your route on public transport, but many people don't know about them. For Bristol buses I recommend the app 'Travel West Bus Checker' You can put your postcode in for your starting point and destination and it does the rest. 

Install more bike rails for securing your bike 

When I biked into town for dinner a month or two ago, I struggled to find a spot to safely park my bike. I ended up going several streets over from the restaurant I was meeting El Husbandio in - hardly ideal. It would also help with businesses - business relations and residents who live in popular areas: fewer 'eyesore' bikes attached to railings on the shop/house fronts. 

A single transportation body across the city

Coordinated and well-planned, well-timed projects for transport improvement should be run by one independent body, in my view. This will make development easier, possibly making it cost less, and would pool resources into one key place. 

More enforcement against banned drivers and uninsured drivers 

This would get a good percentage of drivers off the road!

Rewards for walking the short journeys

Reward schemes are big business nowadays - could log local journeys when you would have used a car but walked/biked and receive vouchers.

Cut train ticket and bus ticket prices

Nuff said. 

Raise the driving age to 18

Now school is compulsory to age 18, there is not a need for young people to drive so much. Argument was they might need it for work after 16, but that's no argument now. I would have hated this suggestion when I was 17 and driving, but it would knock down the number of drivers, and potentially make the roads safer too. 

What do you think?

Lou x

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Born to be a Tourist

This weekend sees the opening of a dream of mine... my own (mini) bakery!!!

Every 3rd Sunday of the month I will be selling home baked cakes from my kitchen. The baking starts this weekend and I can't wait!

I've got a full Christmas themed menu (check out #bakemenu on Twitter) from iced Christmas cake to Brownie Santa Hats, so if you're in the Bristol area this weekend, be sure to stop by! The first 25 customers will receive a gift, and of course, there will be tasters!

280 Bakes
280 Broadlands Drive
Bristol
BS11 0PW

Join me 4-5pm every third Sunday (opens 20th December) and find what you want for tea!

280 Bakes is on Facebook and Twitter, so get in touch!

Lou x

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We've worked hard to make our house Christmas-y, El Husbandio and I. He is missing home (Costa Rica) and I'm missing home too (Swindon). Equally fun Christmases! Here's what we've created, hung and decorated this year.

I'm especially proud of the wreath (a gift for a friend) and the Rudolph cake. My very own show stopper for my fancy baker sister

Enjoy!

​Lou x