The local fruit trees are just coming into season, but I'd never noticed the cherries before. I picked exactly one cup's worth too, on a whim, and that's exactly what I needed for a recipe I found later that afternoon. 

I have never baked (or indeed, tasted) cherry scones with fresh fruit before, but these are YUMMY. The dough was really wet, which made rolling it out and using a cutter impossible, but I 'blobbed it' on a baking tray and they came out pretty well. 

Ooh look, it's time for afternoon snack. 

​Lou x

Lockdown Wellbeing:

Productivity: See above
Make myself happy: Enjoyed having a coffee in the garden with my brother this afternoon. 
Made someone else smile: I delivered a chococlate cake to my very pregnant friend. 

I'm going back to work this week after 13 months of maternity leave, and I am full of emotions. I've thoroughly enjoyed being a new mum and having so much time looking after Rox. Honestly, if we could afford it, I wouldn't be going back to work. Consequently it's been a bit of an emotional time lately, and I've felt pressured to 'enjoy the time' I have left with Rox, even through the limits of lockdown. 

Here's a few of the things which have been playing on my mind...

 - Will I remember  what I need to for my role? My brain is a bit mushy right now!
 - Will my new mum crowd drift away?
 - Will our childcare plan work out well? This involves El Husbandio having Rox two days in a row, he'll be learning fast!
 - Will I be as good as my team expect or remember me to be?
 - Is there anything I should do before I return to work to help Rox's development? To enjoy myself?
 - Why are me and El Husbandio at each other this week?
 - How will domestic duties be split now I won't be as available?
 - How will home working work when both of us are in the office?

So many things on my mind!

I had a bad day today with all this - and more - going round my brain. I realised I felt 

This is a bit of a lethal combination for me, the Big Three. These feelings do dominate when I'm having a rough time. Spotting I felt this way is a HUMUNGOUS achievement for me, given I had no emotional awareness a couple of years back. I've worked hard to recognise my emotions and to help let them be and pass, if they're not helpful. 

I didn't want to reflect any more. It was getting too much.

I took some deep breaths. . 
I spent some time in the garden alone. 
I reminded myself I'll still be a mum forever, it's not ending. 
I thought of the near future, how exciting it'll be when Rox is walking, talking...
I made a mental list of all the great things Rox and I are planning for the next year.
I reminded myself that I like my boss, my job, I'm going to go back to having a monthly income. 

And this helped enormously. I start work on Wednesday, and I don't feel terrible about it. Now I feel

  Proud
  Relaxed
  Sad

I'm immensely proud of what I've achieved this year, relaxed about going back to work (slowly does it, it'll feel normal before long), but still a little bit sad still I won't have my little shadow by my side all day. 

And that's ok. 

​Lou x

Something possessed me and I couldn't turn the oven off. I've just kept going since Sundays major charity bake, it seems!!

The rolls are linseed and oat (for tea), the buns are almond sponge with cherries for decoration (reminds me of my grandma), and the carrot cake is egg free - vegan, actually - as my baby can't eat egg. No photo of that, it doesn't look very interesting at all, I was running out of time to make lunch by this point!

So there's my productivity ticked off for today...
For myself... I participated in a weekly quiz my mum friends and I do, and I won, even with the theme of TV! I don't watch much soni wasnt hopeful, but yay!
And to make someone else smile, Rox and I played for ages with the Paw Patrol sit-on car we have, making the lights flash, the sounds blare, and riding on top. Love her laugh!!

Lou x

I promised you photos!

My kind friends and family helped me to raise £175 for this worthy cause. It was exhausting and delivering them all in Bristol took some time, but I really enjoyed it. I have a feeling my home baking business 280 Bakes will be back this year! 

Thank you again to all who donated xxx

Lou x

The recipe was massive, so I batched up half of them and posted them to a friend's parents who needed a hug in the post. Hopefully they arrived in one piece!

Productivity - boom!
Making someone smile - I walked the neighbour's dog because he's sick.
Something for me - I sat down and read a huge chunk of my current book, Freakonomics. 

Lou x

This photo reminds me of a great day we had as a family recently during Lockdown. We cycled out to Severn Beach and back, with a picnic in a field on the way. The dog ran the whole way - about 10 miles! - and we had a lovely time. 

You don't have to go for to feel like you're some place totally new and away from home, sometimes. 

Lou x

I made huge strides last year in going plastic-free. We started having a milkman, buying soap in bulk, using laundry soap nuts and much, much less cling film. 

Finding the right shampoo and conditioner has been a hard mission to complete, but I've finally done it. My hair is fairly dry and curly, frizzy if I don't use a serum or mousse. It's never been oily, happily, and I was using a scaled down version of the Curly Girl Method with liquid products before I moved to bars. I would wash my hair twice a week and condition every night. That soon changed.

LUSH - 3/10
I started on a whim at a Lush store. The staff recommended a 'jungle' shampoo bar and a curly hair friendly conditioner. These smelled good but were both TERRIBLE. The bars didn't  lather up at all and I felt like I wasn't putting anything at all in my hair... which didn't feel especially clean afterwards and got greasy quickly. Added to that, I found them a little more expensive, but justified that by saving on postage by grabbing a bar when I was at the Mall anyway. However, the colours weren't too nice and there was very limited selection.

SUDSMK - 5/10
I totally fell in love with this small home based business. The owner lives a few houses down from where I used to live, for one thing! Anyway, the bars from Suds were better at lathering up some soap but still not much. After around 3-4 weeks my hair adjusted and wasn't  greasy any longer, but El Husbandio not-so-tactfully said my hair smelled like an old mop. Thanks. I hadn't noticed so it couldn't be THAT bad, could it?! My main problem with these bars was the bogey-looking lumps they left behind in the tub after a wash. Ick. One plus point has been added just because when your delivery arrives, the artisan maker has handwritten an inspirational feel-good quote on the box. Nice touch!

ETHICAL SUPERSTORE - 9/10
Until now, I thought I'd just have to settle with a 5/10 satisfaction level. I now use a shampoo from Faith in Nature and a conditioner from Friendly Soap, both available at Ethical Superstore - the same place I get my soap nuts, so I can whack it all on one delivery charge, too. The bars are £5.79 and £4.95 respectively, very reasonable, and they're a clean white/cream colour with no lumpy bits. They both lather up properly, and have a decent level of scent. 

My shampooing has increased in frequency (now every other day) but these bars last so well, and conditioning every day keeps on top of any grease building up. 

Find the bars here >> https://www.ethicalsuperstore.com/category/beauty-health-and-wellbeing/hair-care/

I'm proud to be plastic-free and all natural with my shampoo and conditioner! I've already started giving bars as gifts, look out, friends and family!

Lou x

Charity shops are closed.
Marathons have been cancelled. 
Public events (like cake sales and summer fairs) are off.
I bet you anything government funding cuts are in. 

Charities have very limited ways of getting crucial donations during these strange times. However, I saw something advertised on my Facebook - possibly the first ad I've ever clicked on! - which said the Alzheimer's Society was running Cupcake Day (again), remotely. 

Now, cake and volunteering are two of my favourite things, so on the 31st of May (this Sunday) I'm going to be baking cupcakes for people I know around Bristol. They've kindly donated something between £5-20 to have a batch, so I'd better make them good ones!

I've raised £150 - smashing my first target of £100 -  which has already gone to the charity, helping those with dementia and Alzheimer's disease. It must be truly terrible to have such a lonely condition when the whole world is already feeling a little isolated. 

So that's my something for someone else today. Proud. Stay tuned for photos of the bakes!

I've also been thinking how else I can help charities in this time. I've had a huge clothes clearout and bagged up three lots for when the shops reopen. Any other ideas welcome!

----

Something for me: I read loads today. I'm shooting through Sue Perkins' EAST OF CROYDON. What a luxury when you have an under one year old!

Something productive: I collected some spare sand my brother had on his driveway so we can crack on with our paving outside the backdoor, and did his Sainsburys shop as payment in kind. 

Lou x

This isn't a huge ask for me, as it's kind of like a paper blog, right up my street, especially when I have a pretty notebook to scribble in. We've been encouraged to do whatever we wish for content, just to record something every day to help with anxiety, depression, boredom etc during Lockdown. 

I know writing can be therapeutic - have even blogged about it in the past - but I hadn't realised just how good journaling can be for your mental and physical health.

For me, it helps me keep my brain ticking over while I'm not working. It's a fantastic outlet for emotions and can help with clarity. When I'm in a bad patch with my anxiety (thankfully not for several months now) I feel confused and foggy, and clarity is something I really need to work towards, so this really helps. 

On good days, like today, journaling helps me to appreciate the small things. Today I wrote down three  good things which came along today. 

1. I made a new type of sweet bread - Dulce Milanese. (Not worth the 6 hour prove and 25 mins of kneading!!)
2. The sunshine was amazing today.
3. I spoke to my grandma who's isolating with my uncle in Norfolk. 

It's easy to see here how journaling can really give you a boost. The blog on Positive Psychology says there's 83 benefits!!!!

https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-journaling/

Have you ever tried journaling? It doesn't have to be much, just listing three good things each day counts, but some people write poems, sketch, 'flow' write, do a diary... you can do whatever takes your fancy really, as long as you do it every day.

Stay well,

Lou x