Even the most determined can fail sometimes – Miss Write

Everyone’s probably feeling some degree of anxiety and/or depression with this current situation. However, for those who struggle with mental health issues like this daily, whatever global crisis is or isn’t happening,  it can be especially hard.

I’m one of those people and I found yesterday difficult. I put on a brave face for the online video nursery rhymes session I’m running, but I was in turmoil inside. I haven’t got as many problems as some, and I try to keep it in perspective,  but anxiety doesn’t make that easy. I have a healthy family. My husband is still able to work from home (something he often did anyway), so that’s not changed much. We have toilet paper and food. But yesterday I was off kilter, out of sorts.

I was tearful, angry and frustrated. Mainly with things I can’t control – like seeing my neighbours meet at someone’s gate for a cigarette and a gossip, much less than the 2m recommended away from each other – and it was really upsetting.

I feel like life for my home-loving spouse hasn’t changed a lot. His hobbies include cycling, dog walking,  and he enjoys a lot of things online, like the radio podcasts from his home country. All of that he can do still, no problem.  I, on the other hand, get cabin fever very quickly. I feel like I need a cuddle, and he doesn’t really want to chat. I went for a long dog walk in the woods, which helped, but  there’s nothing like a catch up with your best friend over coffee, girl talk, and I miss it!!!

So how do I plan to make today easier to manage, less emotional? 

​It’s started well, with news of a newborn. Congratulations Becca and Diego, so happy for you! I have been up two hours and done loads of washing, cleaned the kitchen and ‘done the necessarry’ (feed and dress baby and me). We’ve had our morning story (twice, thank you Amazon for a fresh delivery,  The Tiger Who Came To Tea was today’s choice) and baby is chilling while I have a coffee/blog break. Feels like a normal Saturday,  and being productive sure helps.

I’ve also stopped following local groups on Facebook who are clubbing together to help others. I initially wanted to help but food bank assistance with a 9 month old would be challenging, and the other things so far just seem to be people posting about what they need or are angry about. I don’t need to see that. I offered a homebaked gluten free cake for anyone vulnerable and on a gluten free diet, but there were no takers. Added to that, i received a phonecall from some random woman in my postcode who was telling me to hot-foot it to Costcutters who have paracetamol in stock. I don’t need paracetamol,  and didn’t aprecise a panic call from a stranger. She’d got my number from the volunteers list who are supposed to be delivering groceries to those in need…. not what this was intended to be used for, spreading secret communications of grocery a bail ability! Concerned, I messaged the administration of the WhatsApp group for my postcode to let them know what happened, and they’re going to set some ground rules for the group. I’m going to leave the group today, as I think I have enough to deal with with a baby and things here, and I’m now trying to avoid hearing things about Corona Virus. From today I am going to ignore my phone much more, and only check the news once a day. I think I’ll rejoin the Facebook Corona Virus happenings when and if we actually need help.

Now, I’ve already done loads of productive things today (see yesterday’s post for why this is imoortant) – time for something I enjoy,  for me. I’m going to download Now TV and enjoy their free trial. I heard Rocketman is on there, and I’ve wanted to see that for ages.

Enjoy your day, be safe.
​Lou x