Blog Archives – Miss Write

Yes, I’m about 3 months behind the craze – I have been out the country for 9 weeks – but I started to embark on a journey of many shades this week.

EL James’ ‘50 Shades of Grey’ has been, as you are probably aware, the talk of not only book clubs, but lunches with ladies, office chat and casual conversation. It’s been heralded as the new ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover,’ 45 years hence. More than a little naughty, very accessible; this trilogy seems to have collected quite a following. The fastest selling fiction novel of the 21st Century? I had to try it!

Reading the book before me, a friend of mine advised me the first third of the book was ‘ultra boring’. She then reached the two-thirds point and said it was ‘pure filth’. It improves then! When she’d devoured the book to the last letter, she said claimed it was an excellent read.

Therefore, in search of a good structure, this is a review in thirds of the famous ’50 Shades of Grey’.

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The first third of the book takes us to about the 170 page mark. So far, I’ve not warmed to any of the characters. Anastasia, the protagonist, is irritating the hell out of me. Yes, she’s innocent, and supposed to be a little ‘green’, but even someone still clinging onto their virginity wouldn’t have been so ill-informed as to the activities in some people’s sex lives. She’s how old, 21? And how many times does she say ‘crap’ in each chapter? I feel this is dialogue characterisation stretched a little too far. Sure, that’s what she says, and I don’t mind, but she says it probably more times than is necessary. Mix it up a little!

I don’t like the name Christian; it doesn’t seem to suit the lover Anastasia falls for. I wonder why the author chose (carefully, I hope) this name in particular. It seems a middle-high class name, but did she mean it to have a religious connotation to it? He’s a less irritating character than Anastasia, perhaps because I am too busy drooling, but I question the author’s choice of name. With Mr ‘Grey’, she hit the nail on the head. Strong, uncomplicated, plain, disguising deeper shades. Adding the first name of ‘Christian’ ruined it for me.

Added to this, the writer doesn’t seem to have much creativity in terms of explaining how the dialogue is being delivered. Anastasia whispers or murmurs everything. In reality, how much whispering does anyone do? I found this a little unrealistic. But then, I’ve not personally been in her position… Maybe whispers are completely necessary in such situations, and no substitute would be acceptable? On some pages all she does is whisper and murmur, when there seems little call for quiet. However, when the main character isn’t whispering or murmuring, she’s snapping irritably. Apparently Anastasia uses the word ‘holy’ every 3.5 pages. My original view of the writing lacking something stands.

One part of the first third of the story I did enjoy was the scene in which Anastasia gets wrecked. Her explanation of how she feels is exactly how I have felt in the past, albeit perhaps not puking into azaleas specifically. She says “this is just too appalling for words” – a line in which, had I been more eloquent and able to pull myself together to voice my thoughts, I would have said at times myself. Ahh, student days… Anastasia makes some good points through her chunks and spurts (e.g. “vomiting profusely is exhausting”) and it makes for a truly empathetic scene. A real “I’ll never drink again” moment.

Inconsistencies in text is not one of my major bug bears. Perhaps it should be, but I very rarely spot anything in fiction I read. However, when Anastasia first reads the Non-Disclosure Agreement Christian presents her with, one of the stipulations is that she, as the Submissive (I’m not letting loose any spoilers I’m sure here!), is required to have seven hours sleep a night when they are not together. Less than 70 pages later, this has unexplainably been altered to eight hours. Anastasia should re-read that contract and makes sure she knows what she’s getting into. That extra hour of sleep could be the difference between waking at 7am or 6am – inconsistent writing, and something the Submissive should see as worth negotiating on. A lesson in reading contracts carefully before signing perhaps, but I feel the gravity of the lovers’ contract and the importance to the story means that the author should have gone over the details of the agreement with as much care as Anastasia should have.

Finally, and this is just a side note, but I’d be interested to hear the answer. This is an American print book, so all the words are Americanised. While we’re on the subject of Mr Grey, can someone explain to me why the colour grey in the USA is ‘gray’, yet Mr Grey is with an ‘e’? This must have presented some heavy editing issues in proofing the text with an American English spellchecker.  

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I was interviewed last week by Rebeccah Giltrow wearing my Towcester Writers’ Group Chairperson hat. You can find our chat published on Rebeccah Giltrow’s blog  (13th September 2012). Take a look!

Rebeccah is also looking for writers to interview, so if you’re interested, get in touch via Twitter @rebeccahgiltrow or via her blog contact page.

Lou x

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There’s so much gumph (yes, that’s a word) you are told you need to ‘help’ you achieve your writing goals. In reality, you don’t need much from a material, spiritual or emotional level to get cracking, so I’m here to dispel those myths this afternoon.

1. The unwavering support of your friends, family, spouse

Maybe they’re not creative types. Maybe they don’t leap into literature like you do. If you dream of writing, just go for it. It doesn’t matter if your family and friends don’t ‘get it’. If you’re shy, you don’t need to tell anyone that you’re writing for a while. I do think chatting a piece out with someone can spur on yet more creativity though (perhaps mutually), and it’s always nice to have support, but make sure you write for you.

Fill that creative craving. JFDI!

2. A degree or Masters in creative writing

Education is fantastic. However, poorly chosen courses can be an enormous waste of time and money and I’ve even known people to lose interest in writing due to the poor course content or unenthusiastic teachers.

If you do go down this route, make sure the professor is a published writer and not just a PhD student from another field filling a staff spot. Can you work to deadlines? Would you be happy participating in a class which forces you to try something you’re not interested in (e.g. poetry, non-fiction). Would you be able to handle getting back into the swing of regular homework?

I’m not sure you can be taught creativity… Remember, it is possible to find help elsewhere. Try your local writers’ group. Join an online critique club. The main benefit of such courses is the opportunities to meet other writers, but you can do this for a much smaller (or no) fee in your community. Think carefully about what you want to achieve, and then about how you could spend the course fees on something better!

This is an article I had published in the May 2012 issue of MK Pulse magazine, tweaked for more writerly purposes. More articles are available on the magazine website, but I’m hoping to post more material here at some point. Photo courtesy of Linda’s Writers Clocks.

So Many Hours, So Little Time

There’s 24 hours in a day. It sounds like plenty, but most people only use about 16 of these productively. If you subtract the time taken to eat, travel, dress etc., it’s even less. I haven’t even included time spent at work yet, so you can easily see that your hours spent writing are severely limited.

If you could have an additional hour in your day, when would you place it? Would you put it to your advantage or not? Would you spend more time relaxing, or do something more proactive? Time flies, and you may be having fun, but could you use your time more proactively to get the most out of your day?

You may be reluctant to cut down on the hours you spend sleeping, but this is the easiest way to add a little precious time to your day. If you start small, say, getting up 10 minutes earlier each morning, you’ll barely notice the change. You’ll save an hour each day before you know it.

One hour’s writing = thousands of potential words!

You will have reprogrammed your morning routine to be much more productive and potentially transform your life. Sleep is fantastic, and I am no morning person; I need to be fed, watered, and gently encouraged into the day. However, I could definitely use an extra hour in my morning.

Kerry, MK Pulse Editor, agrees. Believe it or not, she said “5am would be the best time for me to have an extra hour at my disposal. I am most productive at that time of the morning.”

Another good way to find extra time in your day is to be careful what you watch on TV. Do you actually like that programme you’re absorbing? Are you just watching ‘the box’ because you’re bored, or do you genuinely enjoy unwinding in front of the TV? Cutting out just one TV programme could save you a minimum of 30 minutes a day.

Where else could you find that elusive hour? Consider these time savers… Perhaps you could shop online to save time? Could you take the train or bus to work instead of driving, freeing your hands to pen a quick couple of pages? Or you could invest in a slow-cooker so dinner is ready to plate up when you walk in the door after work? As a delectable bonus, you’ll also be welcomed home with a delicious aroma.

Personally, I would insert the extra 60 minutes around 2.30pm, when I am most productive and on a post-lunchtime coffee buzz. On precious my weekends, I would drop it in around 3pm, providing more time to visit friends, shop, travel – whatever takes my fancy.

With an extra hour every day, over the course of the year you would have another 15 days to play with. Remember, it’s time gained for you; not for anything or anyone else. So why not try to get the most out of your day? Making better use of your time could mean you might actually finish that novel. 

Lou x 

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